One Door Closes, Another One Opens (My time on the JET Programme is at an end)

Subtitle: How to quit JET and find/start a new job.

I remember when I first came to Japan. Like many, I thought I’d stay two years and then go to grad school. Well, life happens. I fell in love with living here. I wasn’t ready to leave after two years. Also, I unexpectedly fell in love with a Japanese man.  Not the path I had in mind but I’m happy. So you may be wondering, what’s next?

The JET Programme has a maximum of 5 years, and I am at my limit. I had to find a new job. Of course I’d like to move back to America some day, but for now, my option is to continue living here for the foreseeable future, and I am ok with that except for missing my loved ones back home so much.

You are probably wondering what job I will do next. I had to wait to post this until the appropriate time, but I am happy to announce that I have found a new job! Such a huge relief! Finding a new job and moving somewhere with my boyfriend are my two big life steps this year, and one is out of the way. Wish me luck with moving in the summer.

 “So wait, isn’t your JET contract until the summer?” The answer is yes, but I’ve decided to break my JET contract. It’s an unfortunate circumstance, really. I would’ve loved to finish out my contract with JET, but it would’ve been more difficult to find work in the summer since the Japanese school year starts in April, and that’s when the bulk of the hiring is done. If I would’ve waited until summer, my chances of finding work in a school (which is what I want to do…I love teaching) would’ve decreased quite a bit. Better to be safe than sorry right? Honestly, I think JET should really reconsider their contract period because this situation happens quite often.

I’m sure you all want to hear about my new job. I will write a whole separate post about that in due time, but for now, I will tell you that I will be working at an international preschool/kindergarten teaching children from 2-6 years old. It’s pretty far away, so the commute will take some getting used to as well as teaching young children, having more responsibility, etc., but I am very happy and excited for the opportunity to have my own class! Like I said, I will write more about it once I’ve actually started.

What I want to focus on in this post is about how to quit the JET Programme and quitting a job in Japan in general because I find that this it really hard to find any information about this topic online. If this doesn’t apply to you, you should stop reading now because it will be boring, but I hope this proves useful the people out there like me. I just want to say right off the bat, of course quitting is bad, and I advise not doing it if avoidable, but sometimes it can’t be helped, so here we go…

First of all, let’s be clear, this post is more geared towards those taking work in Japan after JET. Some information might be useful for those who want to quit and go home, however. First, know that in most situations, your BOE is the one who made your living contract with your landlord. Quitting JET could mean forfeiting your current living situation. This is why you need to be prepared. You don’t want to be unexpectedly kicked out and homeless. Start arranging a new place to live or talk with your landlord to see if they’d be willing to let you continue living in your home/apartment after JET. In this case, you would have to make a new contract with your landlord. This is what I’m doing. You might need to find a new guarantor. In my case, my landlord trusts me because I’ve been living there almost five years, I’ve never paid late, and I’m only staying for the four months I intended to originally. So I don’t need to find a guarantor. Your rent might potentially change too. Talk this out with your landlord, but be prepared for them to say that they can’t discuss anything until you BOE knows about your plans to quit. Your BOE might have some sort of agreement where the new JET who will come after you gets to live in your apartment or house, so they might need to discuss things with your BOE first.

So once you have some options and ideas for living arrangements, you can start applying for jobs. There are so many ways to search for work; going to networking events and career fairs, following job pages on Facebook and other forums, using job hunting oriented apps like LinkedIn, word of mouth, researching companies on your own, and going to job hunting agencies like Hello Work. Don’t forget that you can directly apply to schools/companies you’re interested in by sending them your résumé. I actually applied for CNET first and got rejected. I have a friend in CNET who let me know when they were hiring. In the end, the way that worked for me was to use the GaijinPot website. (*Note: This is an option for foreigners and you may be limiting yourself if you are also looking for jobs that aren’t specifically geared towards foreigners). Anyway, GaijinPot is a useful website for foreigners looking for work in Japan. You can type in the type of work you are looking for: category, full/part time, and location, and a list will pop up of all the jobs that are hiring. You can see all the info like the salary, the hours, the location, etc. Once you find one (or a few) you like, it’s time to start sending résumés and cover letters which you can do right through the website. GaijinPot is great in that you can just fill out their résumé template online and save multiple copies of it so you can tweak it according to each position. Super convenient! You will get a confirmation email when you apply to a job. It is even kind enough to tell you many people have applied via GaijinPot so far. Don’t get discouraged though. Mine said there were over 200 applicants! Keep in mind that these are people from all over the world, and if you already are in Japan, your chances increase quite a bit. Lucky for me, I sent my résumé and cover letter, and they messaged me back the very next day asking for me to come in for an interview.

So next, about the interview. I’m very lucky that the place I applied for was an international school because this meant I could do my interview in English in western style manner. I am in no way knowledgeable about being interviewed by a Japanese company in Japanese. I imagine that to be a lot scarier and formal. Just a couple useful tips about interviewing, though: 1) Dress to impress, aka wear a suit. 2) Get to the general location well ahead of time and show up a little early, but not too early. 10 minutes seems about right. 3) Bring a copy of your cover letter, résumé, and any other materials that seem necessary like a copy of your diploma, your working visa, your passport, etc. Anything to prove that you are a legit resident. 4) I think this is one of the most important things: BE PREPARED! Research about the job and their goals. Read through their website thoroughly. It WILL come in handy. Think about things you may be asked and think of answers that align with their goals. Type them up and practice out loud. Think about your strengths and weakness, and be prepared to talk about them. “I don’t have any weaknesses” is not an answer. Think of about 2-3 things and offer antidotes to them. In my case, I said that I don’t have much experience teaching young children, but I love children, I’m friendly and likeable to them, and I want to learn how to teach them. Think of some things that make you a better candidate than the other applicants. Lastly, type up a list of questions you have for the interviewer. It makes you seem more prepared. They aren’t only interviewing you. You are also trying to figure out if you want to work for them, so ask the questions that are important to you. If it doesn’t feel right during the interview to ask some of the questions you prepared, then go with your gut. 5) Last advice. Be friendly and personable. Be yourself. You don’t have to be so nervous. Shake their hand, smile, make eye contact. Show them you are someone they’d enjoy working with. Obviously it worked out for me in the end, but one thing I regret about my interview was when they asked me the opened ended question, “Will you please tell us more about yourself?” Instead of my hobbies and interests, I’m pretty sure I was just like, “Ummm…well...I’m from Chicago. I have 3 dogs, 1 cat, parents, and a younger sister there. I moved to Japan when I was 22… I studied Japanese in university because like most, I got into anime when I was younger…” I wish I would’ve told them less facts and history and more about who I am now.

If you are applying for a teaching position, a demonstration lesson may be part of the interview process. It was in my case. I typed up and made copies of my lesson plan ahead of time and gave the interviewers copies which I think they appreciated. Just a few tips about the demonstration lesson, what you actually teach isn’t as important as how you interact with the students. Obviously you aren’t familiar with the students and their academic level, so err on the side of caution and plan something easy. Don’t be afraid to stray from your plan if the situation calls for it. Show yourself as versatile and prepare mentally for any sort of situation or incident. I didn’t end up being necessary, but since I have no experience with teaching classes of young children, I researched a lot about classroom management and dealing with problem children in case there was a bad kid acting up during my lesson. Like I said, that didn’t happen, but during the interview they did ask me about how I deal with discipline. I was happy I thought about it a bit in advance. One last tidbit. Follow up the interview by sending a thank you email later in the day or the following day.

Ok, so you got the job! Congratulations! Now the sh*tstorm begins. The paperwork sh*tstorm. The nitty-gritty formalities and all the stressful stuff that comes with changing jobs. I used to get REALLY stressed out about this stuff, but experience has helped me deal with it better. Take things one thing at a time. Don’t be afraid to ask questions. Remember to turn your brain off at times to keep your sanity intact. For example, I used to worry and think about all the things I had to do before going to bed, but now I tell myself that I will deal with it the next day and worrying about it now isn’t going to change anything. Once I’m in bed for the night, I stop looking at emails and stop thinking about my to-do list and focus on watching YouTube videos and playing my favorite phone game, Cookie Run. Haha! Just remember…one thing at a time.

Here’s a list of things you potentially will have to take care of when you quit and switch jobs. If I described the procedure for each and every thing, I’d basically be writing a full-blown manual, so this is just the bare bones. Feel free to message me if you have any questions about a specific step.

            For the new job:

1.      Opening a new bank account or post office bank account (I already have a bank account, but my new job requires a post office one.)

2.      A health check, out of your own pocket (Luckily I had one recently for my current job and kept the results, so they just let me use that.)

3.      Copies of EVERYTHING: your residence card, your passport, your diploma and/or transcripts, any sort of teaching or language licenses, your pension book, possibly a reference letter, your complete résumé…and just bring your hanko any time you do something work related because you never know when they are going to ask you to stamp something.

4.      Fill out any information forms the school requires.

5.      Getting a commuter pass and copying it

6.      Reviewing and signing your new contract

7.      Visits to your new workplace to take care of forms and to meet staff/have informational sessions

8.      Reviewing all materials the new job sends you

9.      Preparing in any way possible for your new job (this might include things like lesson planning, classroom decorations, or researching teaching methods but obviously it depends on the type of job).

10.  Changing your visa status. (*Note: An “Instructor” visa is good for public schools, but many private schools require a “Specialist in Humanities / International Services” visa. Of course “Permanent Residence” or “Spouse or Child of Japanese National” visas should work if you are eligible.) The list of necessary items for changing your visa status is something in of itself…proof of tax payment forms, your passport, your current residence card, proof of employment forms, diploma copies, application form, ID photo, 4000 yen in revenue stamps to be paid on your second visit to the immigration bureau.

Quitting your old job:

11.  Resignation letters in English and Japanese for your current job

12.  Meetings with your supervisor, your superintendent, and your principal/vice-principal

13.  Speeches in front of the school, the staff, the BOE

14.  Signing this that and the other

15.  Buying parting gifts (a very Japanese thing to do)

16.  Cleaning out your desk and lockers little by little

17.  Giving back your health insurance card

18.  Getting your last payment stub and tax information from the previous year (if you don’t have it) and from the current year

You may be wondering what happens to your health insurance and pension money when you leave JET for a new job. You will be expected to turn in your health insurance card on your last day (which must be a weekday). I tried to make it so I quit on a Sunday, but my BOE said they couldn’t cover me through the weekend and I had to resign on a Friday. Since my new job starts on the following Monday, I will have no health insurance for two days. The insurance company may or may not bill you later for these two days since as a resident of Japan, you are required to be covered by insurance at all times.

This is where it gets a little confusing, but your new job won’t be able to apply for your insurance until the first day of your contract which means you won’t get a card right away. You are still technically covered, but if you go to the doctor’s before you get your card, you supposedly have to pay the whole price and will be reimbursed later. I’ve talked personally with one of my doctors, and he said that you can pay the reduced price as long as you bring your card to the office asap once you get it. This is where the rules seem pretty vague to me. I guess play it safe and expect to pay the full price for a visit if you go before you get your card. I think I’m going to just avoid going if possible until I get mine.

As for your pension, if you plan to continue work in Japan, I don't think you have to collect your pension money as long as you plan to continue paying into it at your next job. I made sure new job has social insurance, so I should be fine there. I know that if you are going to leave Japan, you must collect your pension money, though.

The last thing I want to explain is about the quitting process. In my case, I told my supervisor privately about my plans long before I even applied for my new job (mostly because I needed to figure out my living situation). Once I got a new job, I formally met with her to tell her the news that I’m officially quitting. Thanks to be being open and honest with her about my situation far ahead of time, they were able to prepare in advance so that they won’t be without a native English teacher the semester I’m not there. If you are kind and passionate when you break the news and explain your situation truthfully and express your apologies for quitting, then they should understand. I did this with my supervisor, my superintendent, and my principal individually. They all understood my reasons, and although it was hard to look them in the face and say I’m quitting (I may have shed some very real tears…this has been an important 5 years of my life), the process went more smoothly than I expected. I met no anger.

Just remember that until you formally quit by turning in your resignation papers and speaking with the superintendent, you aren’t technically supposed to tell any of your coworkers about your plans…that goes for your JTEs and fellow ALTs in the same town. I didn’t know that, and was up front about it when my supervisor told me not to tell anyone. She understood that it was natural for me to consult with my fellow ALTs but told me not to tell anyone else.

So ya, about two weeks left until I start a new stage in life (no spring break for me…boohoo). I’m excited, nervous, and am just hoping to do a good job. I think the adjustment will be hard, but I’m sure I’ll get used to it just in time for me to deal with moving haha! Anyway, stay tuned for when I tell you about my new job!

A Bittersweet Friend

Why does the world work the way it does? Do things happen for a reason? It’s a nice thought, but sometimes you can’t see any good in a situation. I tend not to believe “things happen for a reason” or “it’s it’s meant to be, it will happen.” Life is spontaneous, and can unfair. If you want something, you have to work for it. Some things are out of your control. Pessimistic, I know, but it’s true.

I have a sad, but at the same time, happy little story for you today. It’s about my new friend from El Salvador. It all started a few months ago. I decided to stop by a bar on the way home from a doctor’s appointment. I used to go to this bar regularly my first year or two of JET, so 4 to 5 years ago. Although I like it there, for whatever reason, I stopped going. I guess one reason is because it’s a dog café/bar, and my boyfriend isn’t into eating and drinking where dogs are. I could’ve gone alone, but I guess I was just more comfortable going to other bars nearby where I knew the staff and regulars well. The reason I went to this bar on this fateful day was because the bar I usually go to after my appointment was still closed because the owner was late. I didn’t feel like waiting, and that bar had been popping into my head recently, so I just thought, “Hey, let’s give it a go!” Fate?? Nah, coincidence I suppose.

I was grateful when the woman who owns the place recognized me when I entered. It didn’t take long until another foreigner walked in and sat down at the bar near me. I was taken aback at first. Any foreigner living in Japan knows the feeling when they see another foreigner in their town…it’s like “WHO ARE YOU AND WHY DON”T I KNOW YOU?!” We got to know each other and had a really nice conversation. Sometimes when you meet other foreigners in Japan, you get a weird vibe, and you feel like, “I’m just talking with you cuz we are both foreign and I have to.” It wasn’t like that with this guy though. I genuinely enjoyed talking with him. His personality is really sweet, he is easy to talk to, and I liked meeting someone from somewhere new. He is my first and only friend so far from El Salvador, and I felt excited trying to remember any little bit of Spanish I could from high school. He speaks perfect English though, so it’s not like I had to speak Spanish or anything…anyway, getting off topic…

So here’s the catch of this story, the part that is just unfortunate and out of my control. He is leaving Japan tomorrow forever... L In the past couple months, we hung out a few times, had fun talks, and he also helped me a lot with getting new furniture and carrying it for me. He’s super strong lol! Right in the beginning of our friendship when everything is new and exciting, he has to go back to his country. The part that gets me the most is that he has been living literally 5 minutes away from me for THREE YEARS!! WHAT?! We never noticed each other! What a waste. We could’ve had a three year friendship instead of like 4 months. Right around the time I stopped going to the bar we met at is around when he started going. We never saw each other on the streets or at the station. Talk about bad timing!

Yesterday I said goodbye to him, and it really sucked. I have this incomplete, unsatisfied feeling, like there were so many more fun times to be had. I am glad for the time we did have though, and we promised to keep Facebook tabs on each other.

I know that you are reading this, so I just want to let you know that you will always be a little happy memory in my heart, I’m not going to be able to go to that bar again without missing you, and I wish you the best in the future! First survive your flight home, though…I know how much you hate planes lol! I’ll be watching your Facebook for updates. Thank you for being so kind to me.

What to Expect When Your Train Hits a Person

I hope no one has to experience this because it’s sad and not fun, but in Japan, there are lots of accidents involving people and trains…most of them not accidents honestly. I think jumping in front of a train is one of the most popular ways to commit suicide in Japan, and in Japanese society and culture, suicide is a pretty common thing. If you are triggered by this sort of talk, I encourage you to stop reading now.

Since I’ve moved to Japan, there have been countless times I’ve experienced trains being delayed due to a 人身事故 (jinshin jiko) or accident involving a person. Sometimes they really are accidents such as a person falling off the platform onto the tracks because they were drunk or for whatever reason, but in most cases, it’s usually just assumed that someone intentionally jumped. I’m not going to go in to all the details about why Japan is a suicide prone country or the consequences of using the railways to kill yourself. That’s not my intention with this post, and it’s something you can easily research on your own.

Today I want to tell you what to expect when the train you are riding hits a person. I unfortunately had this experience recently. Whether it’s intentional or not and whether the person survives or not doesn’t make much of a difference in the procedures I believe. So here we go. I hope this can be somewhat useful or keep you from panicking should you encounter this situation.

When a train hits a person, it’s going to come to a quick stop suddenly. The jerk will be stronger if you are riding towards the front and less so in the cars further back. This is why you should always be prepared by either sitting or holding on to something to prevent injury to you or others. The police and medical staff will already have enough to deal with without having to worry about the well being of the passengers inside the train.

Next, the shocked and distressed train driver will announce over the speakers that the train has collided with a person and that everyone should remain calm and orderly while the police come. They will not give you any details about the accident. Don’t try to stick you head or body out the window to look. Again, the train staff have enough to deal with already without you trying to be a nosy a**hole. Just wait calmly for the next announcement.

Once the police come, the driver will be ordered to turn off the lights/electricity in the train. I don’t know why. Probably for safety of the police and medical staff who must stand on the tracks to recover the body.  The driver will warn you before doing so in order to not cause panic. Don’t worry, the trains have emergency lights, so it won’t be completely black. The way the train powers down is very strange. The lights flicker a lot as it’s powering down. It looks like something out of a horror movie, but it’s not cause for concern. Here’s a video of what it looks like.

Here is my major warning and advice to you. This process is going to take a least an hour. There is no getting off the train. The police/firemen are going to make one round up and down the train to check if there are any people injured or unwell. They will ask if you are ok. If you are feeling unwell, this is your one chance to speak up. If you don’t think you can hold your bladder or whatever for an hour or more, then you need to say something. I don’t necessarily think this is the right thing to do, but after not being able to make my train home and spending a lot of money on a taxi, if I’m ever in this situation again at night where the possibility of me getting home is slim or I can’t afford a taxi, I might tell them I need to get off the train. If you can tolerate waiting, I recommend doing so though because lying to get off the train is quite a selfish thing to do. Also, I don’t actually know what happens if you say you aren’t ok. Maybe they just let you go, but maybe they make you wait somewhere.

As time passes, the driver will come on the speaker a few times to let you know what step of the process they’re on and what all they still have left to do. It’s quite sad really because you can hear in the driver’s voice how upset they are, not only for hitting someone, but for making everyone wait. Obviously the situation was out to the driver’s control, but it’s a very Japanese thing to blame yourself instead of others.

So the scariest part of the whole incident, if you can see, is when they bring the body to the ambulance. I was sitting in a seat with a clear view. I almost wish I wasn’t. Don’t go out of your way to get up and look, but if you can see what is going on, this is what it’ll look like. The medical staff will be holding a blue tarp to block passengers from seeing them bringing the body to the ambulance. This is to protect the privacy of the victim but probably also for your own good. I happened to be sitting at an angle where I could see, though. The body was in a black bag. I assume this means the person was dead. If they were alive, I’m quite sure they wouldn’t be wrapped up. Once the ambulance leaves, there is still quite a bit of waiting and inspections to be done.

Finally, once the train starts moving again, the next stop the driver will be relieved and replaced with a new driver or you will all have to get off and get on a different train. Wait for instructions.

One thing that never ceases to amaze me about Japan is how calm everyone is. I was feeling pretty horrified and sad, but most people were just casually talking with their neighbor as if nothing bad had happened. No one was interested in getting up to see what was going on outside. No one complained about the waiting.

I hope you never have to go through this, but if you do, now you know what to expect. I can feel a little bitter about not being able to make my train home and having to spend 7000 yen ($70) on a taxi, but at the end of the day, I couldn’t help but think about how well off I am compared to the victim. It can always be worse…just think, maybe you aren’t riding the train when some jumps but standing on the platform next to them…now THAT is something I never want to experience, but sadly enough, many people have here. Take care, everyone.

My Japanese Boyfriend in America

It finally happened! My Japanese boyfriend of almost three years finally came to America with me to meet my family and see where I come from! Money, work, fear of planes and going abroad were some obstacles that prevented this from happening sooner, but he finally came! This was such a big deal to me for several reasons. First, it was a big sign of commitment. It was also a request I had of him before moving in together. I wanted him to meet my family first, and now that he has, I feel like we can progress more. And speaking of progressing, just having him experience huge parts of me: my family, my culture, the places I grew up, has made me feel so much closer to him. He can connect faces, places, and names to experiences. He can understand so much more about me. I don’t know how many times I talked about things from my home and knew in my heart that he couldn’t connect to what I was saying at all, but now he can, and it feels great.

I have taken a pretty long break from blogging, and if I’m being honest, the reason is that I have ran out of inspiration and things to talk about. I feel like I have covered so many topics and I don’t want to just keep telling you about every Halloween or birthday I celebrate because it’s not as unique as I first experienced it here. I’ve been living in Japan for almost five years now. I can only keep telling you about how I celebrated Valentine’s Day so many times. I write these posts to preserve memories and new experiences, good or bad, and to get out pressing thoughts. I will continue to do just that. And although my last birthday was nice and I made memories, I think I will continue to use this blog to share new things and thoughts in my life.

So, let’s get on with it! This was the first time my boyfriend had ever left the country which made me especially excited to see his reaction. In some aspects, I wanted to see how it aligned with my impressions of when I first visited Japan. He kept telling me over and over how terrified he was to fly in a plane. That worried me because it’s a pretty dang long flight half way around the world, and I didn’t know what I could do if he started freaking out…but when the time came he was totally fine LOL!! It was actually nice because we had three seats to ourselves, and I ordered vegetarian meals which was really yummy. Transferring in Tokyo was easier than San Francisco which is where I usually transfer, and I think I like ANA better than United which is what I usually take. There was free alcohol, but I’m always so dehydrated on the plane that I avoided it. It’d be nice for a shorter flight though.

Anyway, he also said he was nervous about meeting my family, understandably. But knowing him and knowing my family, I knew that it’d be fine. So, after about a day of travels, we finally made it to America, and when we came out of the gate, my mom was there to greet me with squeals of happiness along with my dad and grandpa. Her squeals were embarrassing and endearing at the same time, so typically my mother haha! Of course there’s that first feeling of awkwardness of first impressions, not seeing each other for a year, and me trying to get a grip on translating for everyone…not to mention we were exhausted, but the awkwardness went away quickly. I enjoyed seeing Shinya stare out the window wondering if he felt like I did when I first got to Japan…just in awe of the different scenery. I found out later that one of his favorite things was just to look out the window while we drove. For me, the lack of things to look at outside in comparison to Japan is a bit underwhelming, but in his eyes it must have seemed huge and open like he’s never experienced before. It was funny for me to see the things he got excited by that I find very normal or uninteresting. I’ll bring them up as we go along.

My mother's warm greeting lol!

The first day, December 23^rd, after we got back from the airport and showered up, we went to Taco Bell for lunch. Taco Bell is always the first thing I want to eat when I get home because duh, obviously. I was afraid that the beef would give him diarrhea because it’s kind of know for that (aka Taco Bell shits), so I stuck to a chicken burrito for him to test the water, and I got my usual chicken crunchwrap supreme and a crispy potato soft taco…oh, and you can’t forget the Baha Blast! First off, he was surprised by self-serve free refills which he continued to be excited about the whole trip, but that’s understandable. However, the reaction from him that actually made me laugh out loud was how much he liked the “art” in Taco Bell. Haha! You know, all the newer Taco Bells have them…those paintings on the wall? It’s ok, he took picture of them, so I’ll include one haha! He thought they were so cool *facepalm*

Oh, so about his reaction to my house and surrounding area in general…first of all, this was a new house for me! My parents had moved literally three months before we came! It luckily was still in an area that I was familiar with, so I could still see some of my friends and my family and take him to some places I know. Unfortunately, being that my old house and schools are like an hour drive away into the middle of nowhere…population 2000 people, I didn’t get a chance to show him that area. I will make it a point to do so next time. It’s ok because I did feel satisfied with all that I got to show him (places I worked, downtown Chicago, inside homes and a school). So first, his reaction was, “Everything is big.” Big houses, Big streets. Big food Big people. Big hearts. He was moved by how kindly people treated him. We are huggers in America haha. He was surprised by just the openness like spaces between buildings and homes, open fields, parking areas, etc. When we arrived, there was a good amount of snow on the ground, so that was exciting for him too since we don’t get much snow, if any, in Osaka. He enjoyed making a snowman with my grandpa (or watching my grandpa make one as I’m told lol. I wasn’t there).

Our first dinner was at a Mexican place nearby. A couple friends and my family members joined, so there were about 10 of us! He was really impressed by the inside of the restaurant..and basically every restaurant we went in, so I guess I don’t have to say that anymore lol. He just kept saying that everything looked so fancy, and that Japanese restaurants don’t look the same. I suppose that’s true, but of course for me, it was normal. I think the main joke of the dinner was when Shinya was finally running on fumes from jetlag and exhaustion and started to fall asleep sitting at the table. When I asked him if he was sleeping, he opened his eyes and said, “No, I was just blinking very slowly.” Bahaha! Everyone laughed at that.

The next day was Christmas Eve, I got to see one of my good friends who I hadn’t seen in a long time in the morning which was nice, and in the afternoon we went to a big family Christmas party at my uncle’s house. We ate a lot, drank, and opened presents. It was fun seeing Shinya interact with everyone. He was surprised because he got presents as well. The funny joke of this night was when I about gave my dad a heart attack… I tried my best to teach Shinya a lot of English phrases and such before going to America. Some useful ones like “Nice to meet you,” and some I thought would be fun for him to use. One was, “I have a food baby.” I knew we would be stuffing our faces the whole time we were home, so I thought my family would get a kick out of him saying that. Well, after eating a bunch and the party, I thought it’d be a good opportunity for him to go over to my dad and say “I have a food baby” to him. My dad likes jokes like that. We went over together to my dad relaxing on the couch in the middle of all the festivities, and I said, “Shinya has something to tell you.” My dad got more of a serious face than I intended. Then Shinya said in perfect English while holding his stomach, “I have a food baby.” My dad’s eyes got huge and he was speechless. I could tell what was going on in his head, so I said loudly, “FOOD BABY!” to which he said, “Oh….,” letting out a deep breath and excusing himself to the restroom. I was laughing while I explained to Shinya what happened. All my dad heard was “I have something to tell you” and “baby.” LOL! Plus, it was on Christmas Eve, so… When he finally got out of the restroom, we all laughed about it.

Christmas morning we got up early and opened presents which was super fun of course. We got lots of nice stuff. My favorite thing Shinya received was an ornament with “My First America Trip 2016” or something like that written on it. His favorite gift was a Chicago cubs baseball hat from my grandpa. This was the day he started warming up to my pets a bit (3 dogs and 1 cat). He had never had pets in his life and was bit by a dog when he was young. It took about two days of him being jumpy around them until on Christmas day, he started petting them after he realized they were friendly. He found it amusing how they would jump in bed with us at night and crawl all over us. He kept mentioning how my cat stepped on his b***s in the middle of the night hahahaha! My grandparents came over in the evening on Christmas day, and we cooked a fancy dinner: Steak, salmon, asparagus risotto, garlic bread, sweet potatoes, and a balsamic green bean and onion salad. Also, red velvet cake for dessert which I couldn’t eat cuz I was so stuffed but had a few bites the next day.

The next day I drove a car for the first time in a year. It felt cool to show Shinya I can drive since he has never had that image of me. He complimented me and said that my driving is really smooth, and he felt safe in the car with me. I took him to Morris, a town where I held several jobs before, and I pointed out all the places to him. We met my friend and her husband at a restaurant I used to work at for 7 years. I was excited to show him where I worked. Plus, I love the food there! It was a really nice time. Even though we were tired and still suffering from jetlag when we got back from dinner, my sister invited us and my mother to a hookah bar with her and her friend. I almost turned her down cuz I was so tired, but Shinya said he wanted to experience everything he possibly could while he was in America, so we went. It ended up being really fun. We had a fun time teaching my mom, sister and her friend dirty words in Japanese during the car ride. Shinya was almost in tears when my mom was yelling “manko monster” in a crazy voice in the confined space haha!

The next day we got Chipotle (mmmm) for lunch and then met my other friend for bowling. I was so surprised because my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding this summer! I really want to participate in her wedding, so I’m hoping I can get my new apartment and permission from my work figured out by then.

The next two days were super exciting because I surprised Shinya by reserving a hotel room for us in downtown Chicago! Even though he seemed to be very comfortable around my family, I thought that maybe it would be nice for him (and I as well) to have a night just to ourselves. We took the Metra to downtown and had lunch at America’s Dog as soon as we got there. I don’t eat hotdogs, so I got a wrap, but I wanted Shinya to try some of Chicago’s famous foods. I’m not sure what he ended up liking more…the hotdog or the pickle on the hotdog hahaha! It was his first time having an American pickle, and he couldn’t stop talking about the damn thing the rest of the day! So we made sure to have a lot of pickles in the house. My sister’s friend even bought us a huge jar of whole pickles once he heard how much Shinya liked them. So nice! We ate almost all of them by the end of the trip.

After lunch we went and did the thing Shinya was looking forward to the most which was seeing the Chicago Cubs baseball stadium. I was hoping to book a tour, but the stadium was under construction and there were no more tours for the year. He was so happy just to see it though. We went into a Chicago Cubs goods shop and a Cubs themed bar called Murphy’s Bleachers, I think. It was a cool place. We took a breather, had a drink, and to my delight, caught a Tauros in Pokemon Go! Tauros is the North America only Pokemon, and I really wanted to catch it while I was home. I felt awkward at the bar at one point though because two guys came in and sat down near us and the wreaked of weed soooo bad, and they started taking shots and telling the staff to take shots. I usually attract people like this…idk if it’s my face or fashion or what, but of course, one of them started talking to me and was asking me if I liked the wine…I replied by saying is was “fine” and “ok.” They were like zoning out looking at my holographic backpack lol. As we left, one of the guys said, “Thanks for stopping in,” and that’s when I realized it was Murphy, the bar owner! I felt bad for telling him his wine was just, “ok.”

Next, we checked into our hotel. We were so excited to have a handheld shower head cuz they are common in Japan and not in America. Once you go to having a handheld shower head every day, it’s hard to go back. That and not having a bidet are the two hardest things for me when I visit home. I feel dirty all the time.

We went to Millennium Park, checked out the Bean and the ice skaters, and then headed into the Art Institute of Chicago. My only regret about the Chicago trip was not having enough time to explore the museum fully. We only had about 45 minutes until it closed. We decided that we would go to a museum together in Japan sometime to make up for it.

We walked up State St. for a little bit. We weren’t hungry for dinner yet, so we decided to stop into a café for some coffee. It was super peaceful and relaxing. When we got hungry, we took a taxi up to a northern branch of Lou Malnatini’s. We got salad and individual size pizzas. I had a reverse culture shock moment when the salad for two came out, and it looked like it could feed a family lol! I could’ve gotten full just on the salad! Anyway, it was a yummy dinner.

We walked to a nearby bar I knew after to end the night with some drinks. I chose the Northern Lou Malnati’s so I could be close to this bar. It called Lions Head Pub. We had fun chilling there, and I would’ve liked to stay out later and have a little bit of a party night, but I swear, it takes like a week to get over jetlag, and we were so tired from that and exploring all day, we called it a night and took a taxi back to the hotel. Thought we might die cuz of how crazy the taxi driver was… I just kept telling Shinya it’s ok, and that taxi drivers often drive crazy here lol. It was funny cuz I could speak Japanese with Shinya in front of everyone, and no one knew what we were saying. Sometimes cashiers would ask what language we were speaking which was kind of fun.

The next day, we slept in late and checked out of the hotel. We walked a good way to a sushi place for lunch. It’s a very nice place my friend took me to a while back. I decided that this was the one place I wanted to splurge on while I was home. We ordered roll after roll of interesting American style sushi. It was fun for the both of us, and it was really good! The place is called Union, and it’s so nice inside. It costs a pretty penny, but it was worth it. We had such a fun time there! Before heading back to the train station to go home, we stopped in a few stores, and I got a bag from H&M that I wanted super bad but has been sold out in Japan and online. I was so flippin’ excited!

When we got home, we basically went straight to dinner with my family and parents friends. We went to Buffalo Wilds Wings, and it was packed! There was a Blackhawks game on I believe. We (as in my mother mostly) drank a ton of booze and got rowdy. So that was interesting!

The next day was one of the few rare days we got to stay in and just chill. Every time I go home it’s just go, go, go, and it can be exhausting, so it was nice to relax. Shinya slept in super late, and my friend came over and we chilled and played SkipBo.

The next day was New Year’s Eve, and we celebrated by going to a casino in the afternoon and then having a countdown party at my house after. It was fun to play at an American casino. We tried a few slot machines. Shinya and I both started with $20 each, and in the end I won 75 cents, and Shinya lost his 20 bucks. When we got home, we ate appetizers, played various games, watched the ball drop in New York, and then did a countdown. So many people were lighting off fireworks at midnight, and we could see some from our window. It was the first time Shinya and I ever spent New Year’s together.

New Year’s Day was pretty chill. We played Nintendo Wii for a while and went to Taco Bell one last time with my sister and friend. Sooooo goooood ughhhhhh! I’m not sure, but this might have been the day I went through some boxes of my stuff and found the diary I wrote from when I went to Japan for the first time. I read Shinya a little bit of it, and it was so fun. This might also have been the day we went and visited my grandparents again at their house. We got to listen to their stories. I think I ended the night with a bubble bath. Bath culture is big in Japan, but my tiny apartment doesn’t have a proper bath, so I took advantage of it while I was home. While I’m talking about some random things, let me throw in too other thoughts Shinya had. First, he said it was “fun” to go outside because in Japan, you have to go outside to walk everywhere whereas in America, there’s not really any reason to walk around outside except to like walk the dogs and play. So every time we walked the dogs, he had fun. When he saw a wild rabbit for the first time, he freaked out and was like, “Who’s pet is that?!?!” I was just like, “Ummm…no one’s lol. It’s wild.” He didn’t know there were wild rabbits. He also freaked out over the garbage bin we put out on the curb to be collected. He was taking pictures of it saying he’s only seen them in dramas hahaha!

Anyway, on to the next day, the 2^nd of January. This was a BIG shopping day. We hadn’t had much time to go until this day. Every time I go home, I stock up on clothes and things. We got lunch at Panera Bread which Shinya ended up enjoying a lot. I don’t think he knew what he was getting himself into, however, when we started shopping at the mall. I think he bought like two things, and I spent like 3 or more hours shopping. He basically just followed ma around…oops. He did get some souvenirs though. I got some SUPER cute clothes…so happy!

At night, my friend came over and we (plus my mom, sister and her friend) all hung out, drinking, listening to music, and playing cards. This was probably the most I drank while was home, and I had a blast lol!

The next day we took it easy in the morning and went to Portillo’s for dinner in the evening. Shinya really loved that place because of the décor and the Italian beef sandwich. This is the day it started to really hit me that the time was almost up. Of course I was always thinking about it, but the pain in my heart and gut started this day. I just wanted to be in the same room as my family. I want to talk and relax with them. Shinya enjoyed that too, just chilling in the living room.

Our last day, my mom took Shinya and I to her work which is at a high school, so Shinya could see what an American school is like. He was so impressed. My mom works at a really big school. The rest of the day was full of packing and just spending our last hours with my family leisurely. Mom cooked dinner at home, and my grandpa came. My sister was also moving out for college the next day, so really, there was just a lot of packing, preparing, talking, and animal pictures….OH!! I FORGOT!!! Some crazy sh*t went down between my two big dogs this day! We were eating lunch in the kitchen, and my sister was preparing the dogs’ food. She set the bowls on the counter for a second while she went to go grab something, and two of my dogs were staring at the food and got territorial…and then out of nowhere, they were trying to rip each other’s faces off. My dogs rarely fight, maybe like 3 times ever, but it just so happened to be while we were home. I’m sure that made Shinya feel scared of dogs again. My sister broke them up, and there was blood on the ground. We could find any bites on them, so we were confused…then we realized there was a little blood in my husky’s mouth. She was missing a tooth! We searched the floor and found it! I came clean out, root and all! We called the vet, and everything ended up being ok, but it was a shame Shinya had to see that. It shook me up and little and I was worried about the pups. Funny thing is that after 5 minutes, the dogs were back to being friends again.

On the 5^th we woke up suuuuper early, like 4 in the moring, to shower pack up the car, and go to the airport. I said goodbye to my mom at our house cuz she had to go to work. I was still tired, so it wasn’t too hard of a goodbye because my emotions weren’t awake yet…at the airport however, it was bad. I had to say goodbye to my dad and sister, and I started crying hysterically like a baby. I get teary eyed just thinking about it now. It was even harder because my sister started crying too. Shinya thanked them for the wonderful time, and my dad assured him he was welcome back anytime. We made our way to security as I was still bawling my eyes out. I felt like an idiot in front of the passport inspector people cuz I was just like, “Here’s my passport. I’m sorry I’m crying.”

The flight back was exhausting. I got to watch some fun movies, though. We actually got one last mini Chicago pizza before riding the plane. We also played Pokemon in the airport which was fun. When we finally got back to my apartment, I think it was like 11pm. We were such zombies. After spending two weeks nonstop together, it felt really weird to separate. He said he’d come visit me the next day…he knows how depressed I get the first couple weeks after coming back to Japan. I really appreciate him being so thoughtful in this respect.

So to conclude, our trip to America together was AMAZING! There were a few more friends I wanted to introduce him too and a few more places I wanted to show him, but I know that this won’t be the last time he comes to America. He is already saying he wants to go back. He said quote, “This was the best Christmas and New Years of my life, and I want to come back again.” For any of my family or friends reading this, I want to say thank you SO MUCH for taking care of Shinya and I while we were home. It means so much. It was one of the best experiences of my life getting to show Shinya America and introducing you all to him. I hope one day we can spend more time in America, perhaps live there. I love you and miss you all every day. Thank you. Stephanie.

Bento Challenge!

The Japanese bento is an art, in my opinion. They’re known by many for their neat arrangements and the time and effort put into making them. Making a bento is pretty meticulous but a pleasure to look at and eat.

*from Google images.

*from Google images.

*from Google images.

I think perfection is something highly valued in Japanese culture but is understood as something that can never be achieved. There is always something more to learn. Dedicated artists spend their lives working on their crafts whether it’s pottery, flower arranging, kimono painting, etc. Good things take skill attained through time.

I think all people value time, but choosing how to use your time importantly varies from culture to culture. In America, time is money, and when you aren’t making money with your time, you better be using every spare second for relaxing, pursuing hobbies, and spending time with family and friends. I think many cultures would consider it a waste to put so much time into something you’re just going to eat and use for energy. Then again, the reason Japanese bento are known around the world is because of the willingness to put time into them.

Why do many Japanese wives and mothers take hours to prepare beautiful meals for their family? Well, it’s simple really…It’s their way of showing love and affection. Also, I believe it’s that desire for perfection rooted in Japanese culture. In Western countries, love is show through hugs, kisses, and “I love yous.” In Asian countries, it’s shown through hard work for each other. Men work long hours for their family. Women spend time cooking and cleaning for their family. I’m not saying everyone is like this, but it is a traditional standard for sure.

Lately I’ve been thinking about my place in Japan. I am American. I am proud of my culture and value my beliefs. However, I also am a resident of Japan. I am living a Japanese lifestyle and have a Japanese boyfriend. Over two years have passed since we’ve been together, and with my time on JET coming to an end next year, there will be some drastic changes in my life, the main two being finding a new job and moving. The timing just works out to move in together, a thought that frightens and excites me. Of course I’m so excited to move in with the man I love and have my first real place that I get to choose myself, but I worry that I can’t live up to the Japanese standards of being a good “housewife.” I want to meet his expectations.

Of course my boyfriend understands that I am American and a working woman. He reassures me that anything I prepare for him will be fine, even if it’s the American way of throwing a sandwich, chips, and a piece of fruit in a bag and calling it finished. Poor guy has never cooked a thing in his life and is incapable of preparing a lunch for himself, but that’s normal here. On days woman can provided a meal for their husband or kids, they go to the convenience store and buy a premade bento or eat out. However, there is no love in that LOL!

I have begun thinking about my future life and how I’d like to balance the American and Japanese sides of me. I like cooking. I like art. So I thought I would start trying to make Japanese-style bento for myself as a way to prepare and practice for living with my boyfriend. Here’s what I’ve found so far…

First, omg, it DOES take sooo much time! I’ve come to the realization after my experimentation thus far that working full-time and making a bento AND dinner from scratch is just too much for me. During my first full week of trying to make a homemade bento and dinner for myself every day, I wasn’t eating dinner until 10pm! I also had no time to relax. It was go home, exercise, shower, do chores, make bento, cook dinner, eat, and sleep. I was spending like 2-3 hours on cooking. This is what I decided:

I can make a home bento from scratch if I plan to do a simple dinner like take out, premade meals, or 10 minute meals OR I can substitute parts of my bento with premade or simple things and make a dinner from scratch. I think a lot of Japanese woman buy frozen sides and such to put in their bento. Also, most Japanese households have rice ready-to-go in the rice cooker at all times which saves time. I’m slowly figuring out how to balance the time put in to cooking.

Another thing I I’ve found so far though this experience is that putting creativity in your lunches is fun, and I am looking forward to eating at work so much more every day. Bento are fun to eat. I can feel the love I’m giving myself hehehe!

So let’s get down to it…what do my bento look like?! Well, I have a long way to go. I went to the dollar store and got a lot of materials for making bento cute and organized. That part is going well, I think. My main issue, however, is that I’m not actually making Japanese food because it’s not what I want to eat every day. Work lunches are my best way to control my portions and eat healthy, so I pack lots of fruits and vegetables and keep it pretty light.

Cooking Japanese food is difficult for me. It’s something I’m not used to, and I feel like there isn’t much room for improvisation like there is with American food where you can just through whatever you have in the fridge into pastas, sandwiches or omelets. That’s just my opinion. For example, there is a set way Japanese karaage (fried chicken) should look and taste which is a common bento item. The same goes for dashimaki tamago (Japanese omelet) and so on. These are things that any Japanese woman can make I feel because they grew up around it, but to me even simple miso soup or rice balls make me uneasy. I know it’s something I really need to practice. For now, I’m making American-style Japanese bento, but I plan to experiment with cooking Japanese food little by little. Wish me luck!

Here are some bento I’ve made so far…

Seed and avocado salad, giant grapes, and
cheese and crackers.

Roasted veggie salad, pesto pasta and oranges.

*Saving time bento* Starbucks wrap, oranges,
and caprese salad.

Sandwich sushi bites, edamame, homemade
sweet potato chips, and kiwi,

Coconut edamame rice, blueberries and kiwi,
and spring rolls.

Quinoa chili, cornbread, and oranges.

Green sandwich, oranges, granola bites, and
store-bought sweet potato chips.

Salmon and cream cheese sushi sticks,
oranges, and veggie/egg scramble.

Cantaloupe and Mediterranean salad (the top box was a repeat
from a different day).  

Just to give you an idea of how big the boxes are.
Quite small actually (I have baby size hands lol)

Nara Tokae

Looking back at my old posts, I could’ve sworn I made a post about Nara’s summer festival called Tokae, but I couldn’t find it. Maybe I just mentioned it in a post about another topic. In any case, I figured I’d make a short post dedicated solely to Tokae.

Tokae is a candle festival in the Nara Park area that takes place every summer in August during Obon season. Thousands of candles are lit around the park illuminating paths and temples. It’s all sponsored by donations. It’s really pretty and romantic. The first time I ever went was with my female coworker. It was nice, but I kept thinking how much nicer it would be to go with a boyfriend or girlfriend. Many people dress up and go in yukata, but it’s not necessary if you aren’t into that sort of thing.

This year I was able to go with my boyfriend, and it definitely was nice. We got dinner first and then spent a while walking around looking at all the lights. It was hot, and there were a lot of people, but it’s a fun and free way to spend time, and I think the beauty of it is worth seeing a least once.