My Japanese Boyfriend in America

It finally happened! My Japanese boyfriend of almost three years finally came to America with me to meet my family and see where I come from! Money, work, fear of planes and going abroad were some obstacles that prevented this from happening sooner, but he finally came! This was such a big deal to me for several reasons. First, it was a big sign of commitment. It was also a request I had of him before moving in together. I wanted him to meet my family first, and now that he has, I feel like we can progress more. And speaking of progressing, just having him experience huge parts of me: my family, my culture, the places I grew up, has made me feel so much closer to him. He can connect faces, places, and names to experiences. He can understand so much more about me. I don’t know how many times I talked about things from my home and knew in my heart that he couldn’t connect to what I was saying at all, but now he can, and it feels great.

I have taken a pretty long break from blogging, and if I’m being honest, the reason is that I have ran out of inspiration and things to talk about. I feel like I have covered so many topics and I don’t want to just keep telling you about every Halloween or birthday I celebrate because it’s not as unique as I first experienced it here. I’ve been living in Japan for almost five years now. I can only keep telling you about how I celebrated Valentine’s Day so many times. I write these posts to preserve memories and new experiences, good or bad, and to get out pressing thoughts. I will continue to do just that. And although my last birthday was nice and I made memories, I think I will continue to use this blog to share new things and thoughts in my life.

So, let’s get on with it! This was the first time my boyfriend had ever left the country which made me especially excited to see his reaction. In some aspects, I wanted to see how it aligned with my impressions of when I first visited Japan. He kept telling me over and over how terrified he was to fly in a plane. That worried me because it’s a pretty dang long flight half way around the world, and I didn’t know what I could do if he started freaking out…but when the time came he was totally fine LOL!! It was actually nice because we had three seats to ourselves, and I ordered vegetarian meals which was really yummy. Transferring in Tokyo was easier than San Francisco which is where I usually transfer, and I think I like ANA better than United which is what I usually take. There was free alcohol, but I’m always so dehydrated on the plane that I avoided it. It’d be nice for a shorter flight though.

Anyway, he also said he was nervous about meeting my family, understandably. But knowing him and knowing my family, I knew that it’d be fine. So, after about a day of travels, we finally made it to America, and when we came out of the gate, my mom was there to greet me with squeals of happiness along with my dad and grandpa. Her squeals were embarrassing and endearing at the same time, so typically my mother haha! Of course there’s that first feeling of awkwardness of first impressions, not seeing each other for a year, and me trying to get a grip on translating for everyone…not to mention we were exhausted, but the awkwardness went away quickly. I enjoyed seeing Shinya stare out the window wondering if he felt like I did when I first got to Japan…just in awe of the different scenery. I found out later that one of his favorite things was just to look out the window while we drove. For me, the lack of things to look at outside in comparison to Japan is a bit underwhelming, but in his eyes it must have seemed huge and open like he’s never experienced before. It was funny for me to see the things he got excited by that I find very normal or uninteresting. I’ll bring them up as we go along.

My mother's warm greeting lol!

The first day, December 23^rd, after we got back from the airport and showered up, we went to Taco Bell for lunch. Taco Bell is always the first thing I want to eat when I get home because duh, obviously. I was afraid that the beef would give him diarrhea because it’s kind of know for that (aka Taco Bell shits), so I stuck to a chicken burrito for him to test the water, and I got my usual chicken crunchwrap supreme and a crispy potato soft taco…oh, and you can’t forget the Baha Blast! First off, he was surprised by self-serve free refills which he continued to be excited about the whole trip, but that’s understandable. However, the reaction from him that actually made me laugh out loud was how much he liked the “art” in Taco Bell. Haha! You know, all the newer Taco Bells have them…those paintings on the wall? It’s ok, he took picture of them, so I’ll include one haha! He thought they were so cool *facepalm*

Oh, so about his reaction to my house and surrounding area in general…first of all, this was a new house for me! My parents had moved literally three months before we came! It luckily was still in an area that I was familiar with, so I could still see some of my friends and my family and take him to some places I know. Unfortunately, being that my old house and schools are like an hour drive away into the middle of nowhere…population 2000 people, I didn’t get a chance to show him that area. I will make it a point to do so next time. It’s ok because I did feel satisfied with all that I got to show him (places I worked, downtown Chicago, inside homes and a school). So first, his reaction was, “Everything is big.” Big houses, Big streets. Big food Big people. Big hearts. He was moved by how kindly people treated him. We are huggers in America haha. He was surprised by just the openness like spaces between buildings and homes, open fields, parking areas, etc. When we arrived, there was a good amount of snow on the ground, so that was exciting for him too since we don’t get much snow, if any, in Osaka. He enjoyed making a snowman with my grandpa (or watching my grandpa make one as I’m told lol. I wasn’t there).

Our first dinner was at a Mexican place nearby. A couple friends and my family members joined, so there were about 10 of us! He was really impressed by the inside of the restaurant..and basically every restaurant we went in, so I guess I don’t have to say that anymore lol. He just kept saying that everything looked so fancy, and that Japanese restaurants don’t look the same. I suppose that’s true, but of course for me, it was normal. I think the main joke of the dinner was when Shinya was finally running on fumes from jetlag and exhaustion and started to fall asleep sitting at the table. When I asked him if he was sleeping, he opened his eyes and said, “No, I was just blinking very slowly.” Bahaha! Everyone laughed at that.

The next day was Christmas Eve, I got to see one of my good friends who I hadn’t seen in a long time in the morning which was nice, and in the afternoon we went to a big family Christmas party at my uncle’s house. We ate a lot, drank, and opened presents. It was fun seeing Shinya interact with everyone. He was surprised because he got presents as well. The funny joke of this night was when I about gave my dad a heart attack… I tried my best to teach Shinya a lot of English phrases and such before going to America. Some useful ones like “Nice to meet you,” and some I thought would be fun for him to use. One was, “I have a food baby.” I knew we would be stuffing our faces the whole time we were home, so I thought my family would get a kick out of him saying that. Well, after eating a bunch and the party, I thought it’d be a good opportunity for him to go over to my dad and say “I have a food baby” to him. My dad likes jokes like that. We went over together to my dad relaxing on the couch in the middle of all the festivities, and I said, “Shinya has something to tell you.” My dad got more of a serious face than I intended. Then Shinya said in perfect English while holding his stomach, “I have a food baby.” My dad’s eyes got huge and he was speechless. I could tell what was going on in his head, so I said loudly, “FOOD BABY!” to which he said, “Oh….,” letting out a deep breath and excusing himself to the restroom. I was laughing while I explained to Shinya what happened. All my dad heard was “I have something to tell you” and “baby.” LOL! Plus, it was on Christmas Eve, so… When he finally got out of the restroom, we all laughed about it.

Christmas morning we got up early and opened presents which was super fun of course. We got lots of nice stuff. My favorite thing Shinya received was an ornament with “My First America Trip 2016” or something like that written on it. His favorite gift was a Chicago cubs baseball hat from my grandpa. This was the day he started warming up to my pets a bit (3 dogs and 1 cat). He had never had pets in his life and was bit by a dog when he was young. It took about two days of him being jumpy around them until on Christmas day, he started petting them after he realized they were friendly. He found it amusing how they would jump in bed with us at night and crawl all over us. He kept mentioning how my cat stepped on his b***s in the middle of the night hahahaha! My grandparents came over in the evening on Christmas day, and we cooked a fancy dinner: Steak, salmon, asparagus risotto, garlic bread, sweet potatoes, and a balsamic green bean and onion salad. Also, red velvet cake for dessert which I couldn’t eat cuz I was so stuffed but had a few bites the next day.

The next day I drove a car for the first time in a year. It felt cool to show Shinya I can drive since he has never had that image of me. He complimented me and said that my driving is really smooth, and he felt safe in the car with me. I took him to Morris, a town where I held several jobs before, and I pointed out all the places to him. We met my friend and her husband at a restaurant I used to work at for 7 years. I was excited to show him where I worked. Plus, I love the food there! It was a really nice time. Even though we were tired and still suffering from jetlag when we got back from dinner, my sister invited us and my mother to a hookah bar with her and her friend. I almost turned her down cuz I was so tired, but Shinya said he wanted to experience everything he possibly could while he was in America, so we went. It ended up being really fun. We had a fun time teaching my mom, sister and her friend dirty words in Japanese during the car ride. Shinya was almost in tears when my mom was yelling “manko monster” in a crazy voice in the confined space haha!

The next day we got Chipotle (mmmm) for lunch and then met my other friend for bowling. I was so surprised because my friend asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding this summer! I really want to participate in her wedding, so I’m hoping I can get my new apartment and permission from my work figured out by then.

The next two days were super exciting because I surprised Shinya by reserving a hotel room for us in downtown Chicago! Even though he seemed to be very comfortable around my family, I thought that maybe it would be nice for him (and I as well) to have a night just to ourselves. We took the Metra to downtown and had lunch at America’s Dog as soon as we got there. I don’t eat hotdogs, so I got a wrap, but I wanted Shinya to try some of Chicago’s famous foods. I’m not sure what he ended up liking more…the hotdog or the pickle on the hotdog hahaha! It was his first time having an American pickle, and he couldn’t stop talking about the damn thing the rest of the day! So we made sure to have a lot of pickles in the house. My sister’s friend even bought us a huge jar of whole pickles once he heard how much Shinya liked them. So nice! We ate almost all of them by the end of the trip.

After lunch we went and did the thing Shinya was looking forward to the most which was seeing the Chicago Cubs baseball stadium. I was hoping to book a tour, but the stadium was under construction and there were no more tours for the year. He was so happy just to see it though. We went into a Chicago Cubs goods shop and a Cubs themed bar called Murphy’s Bleachers, I think. It was a cool place. We took a breather, had a drink, and to my delight, caught a Tauros in Pokemon Go! Tauros is the North America only Pokemon, and I really wanted to catch it while I was home. I felt awkward at the bar at one point though because two guys came in and sat down near us and the wreaked of weed soooo bad, and they started taking shots and telling the staff to take shots. I usually attract people like this…idk if it’s my face or fashion or what, but of course, one of them started talking to me and was asking me if I liked the wine…I replied by saying is was “fine” and “ok.” They were like zoning out looking at my holographic backpack lol. As we left, one of the guys said, “Thanks for stopping in,” and that’s when I realized it was Murphy, the bar owner! I felt bad for telling him his wine was just, “ok.”

Next, we checked into our hotel. We were so excited to have a handheld shower head cuz they are common in Japan and not in America. Once you go to having a handheld shower head every day, it’s hard to go back. That and not having a bidet are the two hardest things for me when I visit home. I feel dirty all the time.

We went to Millennium Park, checked out the Bean and the ice skaters, and then headed into the Art Institute of Chicago. My only regret about the Chicago trip was not having enough time to explore the museum fully. We only had about 45 minutes until it closed. We decided that we would go to a museum together in Japan sometime to make up for it.

We walked up State St. for a little bit. We weren’t hungry for dinner yet, so we decided to stop into a café for some coffee. It was super peaceful and relaxing. When we got hungry, we took a taxi up to a northern branch of Lou Malnatini’s. We got salad and individual size pizzas. I had a reverse culture shock moment when the salad for two came out, and it looked like it could feed a family lol! I could’ve gotten full just on the salad! Anyway, it was a yummy dinner.

We walked to a nearby bar I knew after to end the night with some drinks. I chose the Northern Lou Malnati’s so I could be close to this bar. It called Lions Head Pub. We had fun chilling there, and I would’ve liked to stay out later and have a little bit of a party night, but I swear, it takes like a week to get over jetlag, and we were so tired from that and exploring all day, we called it a night and took a taxi back to the hotel. Thought we might die cuz of how crazy the taxi driver was… I just kept telling Shinya it’s ok, and that taxi drivers often drive crazy here lol. It was funny cuz I could speak Japanese with Shinya in front of everyone, and no one knew what we were saying. Sometimes cashiers would ask what language we were speaking which was kind of fun.

The next day, we slept in late and checked out of the hotel. We walked a good way to a sushi place for lunch. It’s a very nice place my friend took me to a while back. I decided that this was the one place I wanted to splurge on while I was home. We ordered roll after roll of interesting American style sushi. It was fun for the both of us, and it was really good! The place is called Union, and it’s so nice inside. It costs a pretty penny, but it was worth it. We had such a fun time there! Before heading back to the train station to go home, we stopped in a few stores, and I got a bag from H&M that I wanted super bad but has been sold out in Japan and online. I was so flippin’ excited!

When we got home, we basically went straight to dinner with my family and parents friends. We went to Buffalo Wilds Wings, and it was packed! There was a Blackhawks game on I believe. We (as in my mother mostly) drank a ton of booze and got rowdy. So that was interesting!

The next day was one of the few rare days we got to stay in and just chill. Every time I go home it’s just go, go, go, and it can be exhausting, so it was nice to relax. Shinya slept in super late, and my friend came over and we chilled and played SkipBo.

The next day was New Year’s Eve, and we celebrated by going to a casino in the afternoon and then having a countdown party at my house after. It was fun to play at an American casino. We tried a few slot machines. Shinya and I both started with $20 each, and in the end I won 75 cents, and Shinya lost his 20 bucks. When we got home, we ate appetizers, played various games, watched the ball drop in New York, and then did a countdown. So many people were lighting off fireworks at midnight, and we could see some from our window. It was the first time Shinya and I ever spent New Year’s together.

New Year’s Day was pretty chill. We played Nintendo Wii for a while and went to Taco Bell one last time with my sister and friend. Sooooo goooood ughhhhhh! I’m not sure, but this might have been the day I went through some boxes of my stuff and found the diary I wrote from when I went to Japan for the first time. I read Shinya a little bit of it, and it was so fun. This might also have been the day we went and visited my grandparents again at their house. We got to listen to their stories. I think I ended the night with a bubble bath. Bath culture is big in Japan, but my tiny apartment doesn’t have a proper bath, so I took advantage of it while I was home. While I’m talking about some random things, let me throw in too other thoughts Shinya had. First, he said it was “fun” to go outside because in Japan, you have to go outside to walk everywhere whereas in America, there’s not really any reason to walk around outside except to like walk the dogs and play. So every time we walked the dogs, he had fun. When he saw a wild rabbit for the first time, he freaked out and was like, “Who’s pet is that?!?!” I was just like, “Ummm…no one’s lol. It’s wild.” He didn’t know there were wild rabbits. He also freaked out over the garbage bin we put out on the curb to be collected. He was taking pictures of it saying he’s only seen them in dramas hahaha!

Anyway, on to the next day, the 2^nd of January. This was a BIG shopping day. We hadn’t had much time to go until this day. Every time I go home, I stock up on clothes and things. We got lunch at Panera Bread which Shinya ended up enjoying a lot. I don’t think he knew what he was getting himself into, however, when we started shopping at the mall. I think he bought like two things, and I spent like 3 or more hours shopping. He basically just followed ma around…oops. He did get some souvenirs though. I got some SUPER cute clothes…so happy!

At night, my friend came over and we (plus my mom, sister and her friend) all hung out, drinking, listening to music, and playing cards. This was probably the most I drank while was home, and I had a blast lol!

The next day we took it easy in the morning and went to Portillo’s for dinner in the evening. Shinya really loved that place because of the décor and the Italian beef sandwich. This is the day it started to really hit me that the time was almost up. Of course I was always thinking about it, but the pain in my heart and gut started this day. I just wanted to be in the same room as my family. I want to talk and relax with them. Shinya enjoyed that too, just chilling in the living room.

Our last day, my mom took Shinya and I to her work which is at a high school, so Shinya could see what an American school is like. He was so impressed. My mom works at a really big school. The rest of the day was full of packing and just spending our last hours with my family leisurely. Mom cooked dinner at home, and my grandpa came. My sister was also moving out for college the next day, so really, there was just a lot of packing, preparing, talking, and animal pictures….OH!! I FORGOT!!! Some crazy sh*t went down between my two big dogs this day! We were eating lunch in the kitchen, and my sister was preparing the dogs’ food. She set the bowls on the counter for a second while she went to go grab something, and two of my dogs were staring at the food and got territorial…and then out of nowhere, they were trying to rip each other’s faces off. My dogs rarely fight, maybe like 3 times ever, but it just so happened to be while we were home. I’m sure that made Shinya feel scared of dogs again. My sister broke them up, and there was blood on the ground. We could find any bites on them, so we were confused…then we realized there was a little blood in my husky’s mouth. She was missing a tooth! We searched the floor and found it! I came clean out, root and all! We called the vet, and everything ended up being ok, but it was a shame Shinya had to see that. It shook me up and little and I was worried about the pups. Funny thing is that after 5 minutes, the dogs were back to being friends again.

On the 5^th we woke up suuuuper early, like 4 in the moring, to shower pack up the car, and go to the airport. I said goodbye to my mom at our house cuz she had to go to work. I was still tired, so it wasn’t too hard of a goodbye because my emotions weren’t awake yet…at the airport however, it was bad. I had to say goodbye to my dad and sister, and I started crying hysterically like a baby. I get teary eyed just thinking about it now. It was even harder because my sister started crying too. Shinya thanked them for the wonderful time, and my dad assured him he was welcome back anytime. We made our way to security as I was still bawling my eyes out. I felt like an idiot in front of the passport inspector people cuz I was just like, “Here’s my passport. I’m sorry I’m crying.”

The flight back was exhausting. I got to watch some fun movies, though. We actually got one last mini Chicago pizza before riding the plane. We also played Pokemon in the airport which was fun. When we finally got back to my apartment, I think it was like 11pm. We were such zombies. After spending two weeks nonstop together, it felt really weird to separate. He said he’d come visit me the next day…he knows how depressed I get the first couple weeks after coming back to Japan. I really appreciate him being so thoughtful in this respect.

So to conclude, our trip to America together was AMAZING! There were a few more friends I wanted to introduce him too and a few more places I wanted to show him, but I know that this won’t be the last time he comes to America. He is already saying he wants to go back. He said quote, “This was the best Christmas and New Years of my life, and I want to come back again.” For any of my family or friends reading this, I want to say thank you SO MUCH for taking care of Shinya and I while we were home. It means so much. It was one of the best experiences of my life getting to show Shinya America and introducing you all to him. I hope one day we can spend more time in America, perhaps live there. I love you and miss you all every day. Thank you. Stephanie.