A Merry Little Christmas

Since I spent Christmas in America this year (interesting blog post to follow), Shinya and I decided to have our celebration together the weekend before, on December 19^th. Our party together this year was similar to last year in that I cooked at home and we ordered cake and exchanged presents, but this year was a little more “level up” in my opinion.

I made sure to have my house spotless and well decorated for Christmas with lights, presents under the tree, and a pine scented candle. I also made a Christmas playlist on iTunes to play while we enjoyed dinner and opening gifts. I picked up the pre-ordered Christmas cake and went grocery shopping in the afternoon. Afterwards, I showered and got all cute (painted my nails and everything lol). I started cooking and setting the table an hour before Shinya was supposed to come.

On the menu was salad, garlic toast with slow-cooked garlic cloves that became so soft you could spread them like butter on the bread, clams in a wine/butter/lemon sauce (I felt kind of bad because the clams were live when I cooked them), and spaghetti in a vodka sauce with shrimp, scallops, spinach, and mushrooms. The food turned out pretty dang delicious if I do say so myself lol.

Shinya came over at about 7:45, and I had dinner on the table by 8. We toasted with wine and beer, and wished each other a merry Christmas. After dinner, it was time to exchange presents. I was so excited lol! I was bouncing up and down shouting, “PRESENTS! PRESENTS!” Haha! Shinya got me a really cute and fashionable makeup bag with a Mickey Mouse pattern on it because he knows I like Disney. The pattern is really cool. I got him sweater, scarf, and hookah pen set. I don’t know if I was more excited to give or receive!

After relaxing and letting our bellies settle a little, we got out the cake and champagne. Shinya searched for and bought us a really nice (and rather large) bottle for our party together. After toasting again and blowing out our Christmas candles, we put in the Christmas move Shinya rented for us. He rented “The Santa Clause” with Tim Allen at my request. It was his first time to see it, and I hadn’t seen it in years, so it was really fun. Shinya ate his whole half of the cake while watching haha, and we took turns pouring each other the champagne until it was all gone. Needless to say, after the movie finished, we passed out on the couch together, sleepy from the champagne. I woke up a little after, tidied up, and woke Shinya up so we could brush our teeth and get into bed. It was a cozy, fun little Christmas together.

Poppin' champagne.

A Winter Date～Kobe’s Luminarie

Recently I had an especially nice winter date with my boyfriend that I’d like to share. As I have written before, winter illuminations are a big thing in Japan and make for a really romantic date with a loved one or a fun time with a friend or family member. One of the most famous illuminations in Kansai is Kobe’s Luminarie. For three years now, I’ve wanted to go, but compared with other illuminations, it’s time frame is very short. It’s only two weeks long, and ends before Christmas. Every year, I missed it by accident. FINALLY, I got to go. I made a point to check the dates far in advance and clear my schedule.

Let me say, I’m so glad I did! Luminarie was gorgeous!! Apparently it can get very crowded and lines can take a long time, but we went on a Friday evening fairly early (around 6:30) on the last weekend, so it wasn’t so bad. I’ve found that illuminations themselves are quite short, and if you go expecting to walk under canopies of lights for an hour, you’ll be disappointed, but if you go expecting to enjoy the lights for about 30 minutes, you’ll be happy.

On the guided route to Luminarie.

Luminarie was very impressive, more so than Osaka’s Renaissance. When Shinya saw the display, he said that it was the first time in while that he felt moved. His comment brought a smile to my face. I felt the same way. We started off by grabbing some warm drinks at a nearby café to bring with us on our walk. I bought cocoa to get me in the winter spirit. Walking hand in hand with our drinks under the lights really did feel magical. For that moment, I was in bliss.

Luminarie.

Luminarie.

Luminarie.

Luminarie.

After taking our fill of pictures and enjoying the lights, we hit up Chinatown nearby. I had walked through it once before, but it was my first time to actually make it a point to eat there. It far exceeded my expectations in terms of fun. The streets are lined with red lanterns, food stands, and Chinese people calling out to you to buy their goods. For a second, I felt like I was back in Hong Kong or Taiwan. Shinya and I made the mistake of going in to a restaurant at first. Compared with the food stands, the restaurants are really expensive. We were kind of shocked. So, we ordered a drink each and just got some shrimp shumai before we left. We would have felt bad for leaving without ordering anything.

Kobe Chinatown.

Shrimp shumai.

Once we got back on to the streets, the fun began. We went to several random food stands and ordered anything that looked good. Most places had some makeshift tables to eat at, so we basically ordered something, sat and ate for 5 minutes, went to a different place, ordered something and sat again, and repeat. We got all sorts of little things like mini bowls of fried rice and ramen, fried spring rolls, drinks, dumplings, and so on. We ate until we were full, and the best part was that it was very cheap!! Maybe we spent about $15 each and enjoyed so many different things.

Ramen, beer, and bubble tea.

If you get a chance, check out Luminarie. It’s beautiful and free and a great way to enjoy Japanese winter.

Strange Fall

This year has been really warm… It’s good for my gas and electric bills (I’ve only had to turn on my heat like once so far this year), but I love fall, winter and cold weather, and it seems like this year, it’s just not going to come. As I’m writing this, it’s December 17^th, and it’s 59˚F (15˚C). Sigh…

So what is this post about? Well basically, it’s about fall leaf viewing. Every year in Japan, people (including myself) really look forward to the changing leaves. Same as with the cherry blossoms, there are many events centered around it, and people travel to specific places like Kyoto or anywhere that has particularly beautiful fall foliage to see the extravagant colors. There is always a forecast for the changing leaves, so people plan their excursions around this forecast. Compared to my hometown, Chicago, leaves change much later in Japan, usually around mid to late November. After checking the forecast, I made plans to go see the fall leaves with my boyfriend, something I was really looking forward to…

Well, like I said, this year the weather has been whacky, and the forecast ended up being wrong. On Nov. 22^nd, my boyfriend and I headed to Mino, Osaka, a famous place for fall colors. If you look back a bit, I have a post about a previous trip to Mino when the leaves were absolutely breathtaking! I’ll look for the link: http://stephanieinjapan.blogspot.jp/2013/11/kouyou.html

Unfortunately, the leaves were hardly changed. At first I was pretty disappointed, but it was Shinya’s first time to go there, so he was impressed anyway, and there is more to see and do besides just see leaves. It’s a decently long hike in beautiful nature, and there’s a gorgeous waterfall at the end. People go on this hike during all seasons. Mino has lots of specialties like fried maple leaves, Mino beer, and yuzu products. We enjoyed eating lots of different little yum yums on the way. It may not have been to perfect fall leaf experience, but I still had a nice time. We even went to my favorite nabe place for dinner after which was nice.

Yuzu croquettes.

We found some leaves!

and some more!

Taiyaki.

Picture of the day.

Mino Falls.

Mmm...nabe!

Round two: Since the leaves weren’t changed that weekend, I thought for sure by the next week they would be. I already had a plan to go to Kyoto with some of my English club members, so I thought that it would be a perfect second chance to see the beautiful leaves, since Uji, Kyoto is also know for pretty fall foliage. Whelp, again, I wasn’t so lucky. The dang leaves this year just won’t change!! 

Like I said, it’s the 17^th of December now, and the leaves are just finally beginning to change, about a month late. However, it’s pretty sporadic because some leaves did change early and some didn’t.

Again, despite not being able to see the leaves, I still had a fabulous time in Uji. I ate delicious vegetarian food, saw temples and a museum, enjoyed the scenery, and of course had my fill of Uji green tea products. It’s such a nice area and was fun to go with people this time around. Click this link to see my previous trip to Uji: http://stephanieinjapan.blogspot.jp/2015/10/uji-kyoto.html So I guess what I’m getting at is that even when you expect something, you can still enjoy yourself with a change of perspective when things don’t go to plan.

Pretty scenery.

Vegetarian yum yums!\

Matcha soba.

Byodo-in reflection on the pond.

Found some changing leaves!

English club.

The best ice cream in the world!

What to Do If You Have a Stalker in Japan

I’m not happy that I have experience with stalkers in Japan, but I might as well make something useful of it since I have the knowledge…hope this helps someone.

What do you do if you have a stalker in Japan? GO TO THE POLICE! As a foreigner living in Japan, I realize how troublesome and nerve-wracking in can be to go to the police, but it has to be done. No excuses. Obviously, if you can speak Japanese, you can go by yourself, but whether you are good at Japanese or not, I still recommend bringing a Japanese person (preferably man) with you anyway whether it’s a friend, coworker, significant other, etc. It’s kind of depressing, but I feel like you will be taken more seriously this way. Also, obviously if you can’t speak Japanese, you will need someone who can speak both languages to help translate. Don’t count on someone at the police station being able to speak English. Also, I discourage bringing another foreigner with you who is fluent in both languages. Bring a Japanese person.

EXPECT THE ORDEAL TO TAKE 3+ HOURS!!! This is not a quick in an out process. Bring a bottle of water, your identification, and make sure the person you bring with you has something to do to kill time when you have to speak one on one with the police (if you have no Japanese ability, they might let your translator come in to the one on one talk, but I don’t know).

What can the police do for you? This depends on whether or not you know who the stalker is and what they have done. Let’s go over a few scenarios.

Best Scenario: You know who the stalker is (and you have some way for the police to identify him/her such as a license plate number, address, name, phone number, or workplace), and they have done something threatening like tried coming to your home or workplace, physically harassed you, sent you messages, vandalized something of yours, sent you bad things in the mail and so on. In this situation, police can contact the stalker and perhaps even arrest him.

Another Scenario: You know who the stalker is, but they have only been following you are showing up at public places you often go to. In this situation, the police won’t contact them or take any action against them. This makes me angry because basically you must wait until the stalker actually does something bad to you before the police will step up. There are some things they can do for you though.

 In most scenarios, they will file a report, and if you give them permission, they will call your work for you and explain the situation so your boss will know what’s going on and can be cautious about giving your name out to anyone who might call, etc. Also, they will give you a little lesson on how to be safe like don’t walk alone at night, don’t stare at your cell phone or listen to music while walking alone, be sure to look behind you and be aware of your surroundings, call the police first before anyone else if you see the stalker, don’t open your door to strangers because the stalker might be getting someone else to open the door for them, carry a buzzer with you (the police will most likely give you one, but you can also buy one yourself), and use it if you see the stalker, don’t go anywhere you have a chance of running into the stalker, etc. A lot of it is common sense, but they might mention something you didn’t think of. Also, in most scenarios, if you’ve filed a report with the police, you will be able to call the police any time and say only your name and your file number (I’m still a little foggy on how you get this number, so ask when you go), and they will come to your house immediately because they have your address and situation on file. Obviously if you aren’t at home when you see the stalker, you should say the place you are at, too. Also, this only works if you are around the area of the police station you went to. For example, if you are traveling or in a different city, they won’t have your information on file.

Worst Scenario: You have no idea who the person is. Obviously if you can give a good description of the person looks like, that’s great. If it’s just a creepy person who’s been following you, the police will probably just give you a buzzer and safety lecture and send you on your way. If the person has done something threatening like trying to enter your home, along with the lecture and buzzer, they will file a report, contact your work for you, and hopefully patrol around the area you live more. They might call you to check in with you a week or so after you go to the police station. Unfortunately, if you don’t who the stalker is, there isn’t much they can do. I still think it’s important you go to the police though. Being quick and proactive in stalker situations is necessary. You don’t want to have to live in fear!

Be safe, be smart, take action. Thanks for reading.

Homesickness & Depression

Mostly everyone will go through periods of depression in their life, and I’m no exception. Some people it affects more than others. I’m one that when it hits, it hits hard. However, I was one of the rare few that homesickness didn’t affect so much in the beginning. A lot of people who move abroad will get bad homesickness within the first year or two. My homesickness coincided with my depression and hit me hard in the face in the beginning of my fourth year of living in Japan.

There are various reasons these things came on. One of the biggest factors I don’t mind sharing is my most recent trip in America in May. It was the first time I’ve gone back home to visit that I didn’t want to return to Japan. Of course I missed my boyfriend and friends in Japan, but that’s it. Really.

You would think visiting home would refresh you and prepare you to take on another long period of separation from your friends, family, and county, but for me, it made it worse. It was like a reminder of what I’m missing. When I returned back to Japan, my homesickness clicked on clear as day. 

Dealing with homesickness on its own can be hard but manageable. There are a lot of things you can do to keep your head up like talking with your friends and family back at home over the phone a lot or messaging, hanging with you non-Japanese friends, eating foods from home, watching Western movies or TV, letting your culture shine through instead of trying to fit in, and so on. There will be times when your dark thoughts get the better of you, and you burst into tears at the thought of something simple like missing your mother, but I feel like dealing with homesickness on its own is doable.

BUT, when other life factors come in to play and depression kicks in for other reasons, it’s like you are stuck in a black hole with no ladder, unable to move. This is what happened to me a few months ago. I’m still not perfect or back to normal, but feel like I’ve gotten out of the hole, and now I’m just standing on the edge waiting for two things: to crawl away or fall back in. Crawling away takes time, and falling back in takes a split second.

This post is going to get a little personal, but I’d like to share my thoughts because it might help others going through the same thing feel not so alone like I did, and I have some advice to offer.

My brain was in no way organized or stable in my darkest times, so that’s not how I’m going to write. In a jumbled mess, I’m going to start writing in no coherent manner the bad thoughts and feelings I had when dealing with homesickness and depression (I will probably write some bad things I don’t actually mean). I’m a little embarrassed to write this and a little worried it’ll stir up some bad thoughts again, but hopefully it makes me feel good to get some of it out… Here we go:

Do I want to live here forever? What have I gotten myself in to? I’m stuck. I don’t want to choose between my boyfriend and my family. Is he worth it? I miss home. I miss America. I hate Japan. I hate the way Japanese people act. I’m sick of being fat and surrounded by stick people. Why is my acne the worst it’s ever been in my life? How come I won’t lose weight despite exercising more than I ever have in my life? I need to stop eating so much. But I don’t even eat that much. Why don’t Japanese people gain weight even though tons of them don’t exercise? Shinya always eats the same amount of food as me. I miss college. I haven’t been to Minneapolis for years. Will I ever get to go back? I have no money. What am I gona do? I have to find a new job soon. What if I can’t? What if I have no choice but to leave Japan? I don’t want to be forced away from Shinya against my will. Is he the right one for me? What if I am forced out of my apartment and have no money to get a new one? How do I even get a new one? I HAVE NO MONEY I HAVE NO MONEY I HAVE NO MONEY and NO SAVINGS! I’m so screwed. How do I apply for a new job? Why did the immigration bureau only give one freaking year on my visa extension? Japanese people are racist and ignorant to other cultures. Get with it! You are so stuck in the dark. Don’t call me gaikokujin, don’t talk about how I look, don’t talk about my Japanese knowledge or abilities; just treat me like a normal person. I’m a human, not a freaking zoo attraction. Does my boyfriend love me? I miss Christmas, Halloween, and Thanksgiving. I miss Chicago weather. I miss Taco Bell. I miss pizza. What if I live here forever and have a kid? I don’t want them to grow up in this racist country. The school system is a piece of crap. What if my kid is bullied for being half American? Will my kid resent me or his or her American blood? Ariana Miyamoto. What if they want to live in America? Will Shinya come live in America with me for a while? Do I give up my dream of studying in England and becoming a college professor? I’m missing out on everything in America. My friends back home don’t like me or care about me anymore. My sister is mad because I wasn’t there for her important milestones. My pets are going to die when I’m away. My parents and family are going to die when I’m away. I need to take care of them. I want to take care of them. I want to spend time with them. All my remaining time with them is wasting away and it’s all my fault. I’m selfish for moving here. I don’t want to do anything. I just want to stay at home. Does my family resent me for leaving them? Do they hate my choices? America is so comfortable. I hate Japanese homes. They are so small and uncomfortable. I want insulation and central heating and cooling. F*ck Japanese summer. I hate it. I want a dryer for my clothes. Will I be discriminated against when I go to rent an apartment? I hope my boyfriend doesn’t cheat on me. Does he like his ex better than me? There are so many sex shops and disgusting perverted stuff in Japan. The people here are messed up. I hate how women are portrayed. I am not a sexual object and I’m not your cookie-cutter wife. For those who think there are no gay people in Japan, get your head out of your ass. The yen to dollar exchange rate is KILLING ME! My washer broke. My phone broke. I saw a fight. I got robbed. I got sexually harassed. My acquaintances make fun of my weight. If I went home, I would miss Japan. Does my boyfriend think I’m sexy and beautiful, or just cute? Why does no one come visit me in Japan anymore? I know, it costs a lot. That’s why I can’t visit home. I wish I could more. That’d make me happy. Why do I always have to struggle with money when everyone else around me is fine. My bf needs to hurry up and find a new job. What if he can’t find one? What if he can’t come to America and meet my family like I planned. What if he gets a job but can’t get the time off? I’m so fragile. I’m so fat. I wouldn’t feel so fat in America. I need to hurry up and get a plane ticket home, but I can’t afford it. What am I going to do? Taxes suck. I could just jump in front of a train like all the Japanese people.

Yikes… So yeah, I had a lot of horrible thoughts, and I wrote a lot of horrible things. For any Japanese people reading this, I don’t hate Japan or Japanese people. The reason I came to Japan is because I love it. Just living away from your home can be exhausting and make you think bad things somtimes. I hope I’m not alone in some of these thoughts… And if you’ve ever thought these things, you are not alone. So let’s get a little more productive and go over some of the options and methods for getting out of depression.

One thing I mentioned a few times in my garbled rant is doubt with my boyfriend. I think it’s pretty common in a relationship to worry about how the other person feels about you and wonder if they’re “the one.” It’s also even more complicated in an international relationship because you have to make a choice and compromise about which country you’ll live in. I really think the best way to deal with relationship issues is just making time and sitting down with your significant other and having some deep conversations. I always feel soooo much better when I tell Shinya what’s going on in my mind and what’s worrying me. I tend to keep things to myself because I don’t wana cry or have an argument. Luckily with Shinya, we never argue. We just listen to each other’s thoughts and opinions and try to work our any issues we might be having. It helps a lot. Obvious, I know, but open communication is the key.

I already mentioned a few ways to deal with homesickness, but here are some of my ideas for depression in general. These are for the times you feel like you don’t want to go on anymore and all your thoughts are dark and consume you. My number one advice is to STAY BUSY! I’m in no way a professional. These are just some things that help me personally and can possibly help you. When I say stay busy, I mostly mean get out of the house and be around people. Make plans to meet a friend every day or call them. Don’t feel bad about discussing your problems with your close friends. That’s what they’re there for, and talking with friends can be a huge relief. Down time can be your worst enemy. It gives you time to think. Thinking hurts. Sometimes just going to work and being busy at work is helpful. I know that when you are depressed, you don’t feel like doing anything, but I swear, you will thank yourself later. If your friends are busy, go out and do something entertaining like seeing a movie, shopping, or having a drink at one of your favorite bars while chatting with the people around you (don’t drink too much). Another great thing to do is to go out and accomplish a small goal. For example, if there’s a place you’ve always wanted to go visit or a restaurant you’ve been wanting to try, go do it! It’ll make you feel happy! Maybe you wanted to try some kind of sport or something…if it’s in your means, why not? If you have no choice to be at home, do something that occupies your mind like watching a (not depressing) movie, reading a book, exercising, cooking, or playing a video game. I don’t recommend lying around and listening to music (unless it’s like club music) because it can make you feel worse.

Making plans and goals for the future can make you feel positive or excited. Maybe you want to start learning a new language or something. Take the first steps on figuring out how to do so whether it’s finding good websites, buying a book, or researching about the language in general. If you want to take a trip overseas somewhere, look into the things you can see, do, and eat there. Research hotels, whatever. Anything to make your dreams seem even more like reality. Also, a really simple thing you can do but is easy to forget is to recognize any time you actually do feel happy, and say or think to yourself, “I feel happy now. This is nice.” Enjoy that moment.

Of course, when you are just feeling way too weak to deal with anything on your own, there are places in Japan you can go. In Japan, seeking help for mental health is a lot less common compared to Western countries, but it’s not unheard of, and there ARE options. Look into the closest facilities near you that offer mental health service. There are clinics specifically dedicated to mental health, and sometimes it’s just regular doctor’s offices you can go to receive antidepressants from doctors who normally treat colds and stuff but are also qualified to give out medicine for mental health issues. Depends on what you want. I don’t know too much about this, but if you do a little research, I’m sure there are all sorts of hotlines you can call or support groups for foreigners with depression in Japan. I know the JET Programme has a hotline.

Last, some advice from a professional: 1) Focus on routine and things you like to do. 2) Understand that what you are feeling now is temporary. 3) Don’t focus on bad things that are going on because it WILL NOT HELP! 4) Try to stay positive. When you wake up, say something positive about yourself or the day. 5) Again, try accomplishing goals even if it’s small like doing the laundry. 6) Looking at inspirational quotes may help (I’ll post some of my favorites at the end). 7) My personal favorite: If you are upset about something that happened, remember that it was in the past and you need to focus on here and now! It doesn’t help to dwell on things that happened in the past.

I’m not gona lie and say I’m ok, perfect, and positive. I still am working on things. I have worries. I think that’s normal. Knowing how to deal with them in a healthy manner, though, is important. That’s where I’m at now. Trying to deal. I’m in a better place than I was a few months ago though. Life is short, enjoy it.

My 26th Birthday

Thinking back on it now, 25 went by very quickly. Kind of scary. Year 26, I wonder what it has in store for me. I hope for few worries and fun times…and to win the jackpot lol. I haven’t thought too much about my goals for this year, but maybe I should at least spend a few minutes thinking about what I’d like to happen. Even slightly outlining your goals can improve your attitude towards life, I think. I’ve been struggling mentally a lot the past few months…I have a long post about that just sitting, waiting to be uploaded, but I just can’t bring myself to do it. Maybe I will sometime. ^^; So anyway, I’m hoping I can change my mindset and start this new year with a lighter heart and mind.

Let me tell you about my birthday! It was so nice! Lucky me, my birthday was on a Saturday this year. I spent the Friday before having a chill get together with a few close friends. We went to this Italian Pizzeria in Namba which was really tasty. My friends gave me gifts and cake. Then we went to the large branch of the HUB (British pub chain) for some drinks after. I had to get up early the next day for my tea ceremony class, so I went home by last train.

Thanks guys!

On my actually birthday, I had a birthday date with my boyfriend. He surprised me by taking me to this really nice Hokkaido Seafood izakaya called Kanamaru Noen (金丸農園). It was absolutely delicious! We ate so much. My favorite thing was probably the seafood cooked in garlic oil (ajillo in Spanish). You can order a baguette with it so you can dip it in the remaining garlic oil. Sooo good! I also loved the fried oysters. Shinya got some raw. We got other things too like sashimi, scallops, bagna càuda, shrimp, and yummy drinks (I had sparkling wine and sangria).

Warm, boiled shrimp with a yummy dipping sauce.

Bagna càuda.

Raw oysters

Half eaten sashimi lol.

Scallops cooled in butter and soy sauce.

Fried oysters.

Seafood cooked in garlic oil, still hot anf bubbling.

After dinner, he took me to our special bar in Kyobashi called Wisteria. We always go here for special occasions. It’s intimate, classy, and the Moscow mules are to die for. He gave me my gift here, a pendant necklace with my initial. I like how depending on my outfit, the necklace can look, pretty, cute, or cool! I’m acquiring quite the little jewelry collection from Shinya; first earrings, next a ring, and now a necklace! I made a joke by saying I already know my present for next year: a bracelet haha!

My necklace.

Wearing it.

We ended the night by going to my favorite bar in the world, White & Cigar, 5 minutes from my house. Of course, the bartender treated me to one drink which I appreciated. I swear that place feels like home to me. It was such a nice way to end the night. We stayed till close.

Such a happy night.

Thanks for a wonderful birthday!

To my request, Shinya agreed to stay the night, so I could sleep peacefully by his side. One of my best nights of sleep in a while. Honestly, I have no complaints. What a perfect birthday!

Ste-chan, the Maid

Hello～～～Meet Ste-chan, the maid. She’s a cute, blue and pink-haired, bubby girl from Japan who will clean your house to perfection and make you smile. She is always happy and cheerful. She likes to make jokes and play around but also knows when to get down to business. She takes her duties very seriously, cleaning every nook and cranny until it’s sparkly clean.

You would never know it, but in her free time, she likes to party, especially with the cool anime boys. If you’re lucky, late on a Saturday night, you might catch a glimpse of her with a drink in hand out on the dance floor. However, if you mention it to her the next day, she will deny it and insist that it was someone else. After all, how could such a proper and respectable house maid ever partake in such indecent frivolity? Happy belated Halloween. Lol!

Hangin' with the anime boys.

Hangin' with the anime boys.