Tottori

On the last weekend of my summer vacation, I went on a trip to Tottori with Shinya. It was our big event for the summer. I chose Tottori because even though it’s not super popular, it has a few famous sights, and it’s somewhere I hadn’t been yet. I’ve already been to most of the really famous places, so I’m trying to make my way around to the slightly less famous places and increase the number of prefectures I’ve visited. We left on a Saturday morning and returned Sunday night. It was short, but nice. It would’ve been too expensive to stay two nights since we were staying in a nice ryokan. Plus, Shinya had to work on late on Friday and early on Monday (my first day back to work was on the following Tuesday).

On Saturday, we rode trains from our town to Tottori Station. We reserved our seats in advance so we would be able to sit. It was roughly a 3 hour trip. We didn’t take a shinkansen, but instead we rode a tokkyu train (in English maybe it’s called like super express or something). It’s fast, but not as fast as a shinkansen…or as expensive. I always kind of like long train rides. It’s fun to relax, eat snacks, play games on your phone, and sleep lol.

When we arrived in Tottori, it was around lunch time, so we went to a soba restaurant we researched in advance. One of the specialties in Tottori is soba apparently. On the way, I was able to take in the atmosphere of Tottori. I saw these umbrella things all over the place on manhole covers, in the station, in stores, etc. I later found out that they are called “shan shan.” They are umbrellas used in Tottori’s most famous festival. People dance with the umbrellas in a parade. So basically shan shan is their mascot. I came to like shan shan very much because they were silly and fun to say.

Huge shan shan in the station.

Shan shan man hole cover,

Me with a shan shan. :)

Tottori City had a rural feel to it. It was pretty small and quaint. There was one main street that extended away from the station and was lined with little mom & pop shops and restaurants. There were hardly any people anywhere! I don’t think I saw any other foreigners.

Tottori looked like this.

The soba restaurant was fun. The noodles were cut differently than regular soba. It tasted very homemade and delicious!

Soba!

After lunch, we wanted to explore a little before checking in to our ryokan (Japanese style hotel). We went to the tourist center and learned about this awesome deal where you could rent a taxi for 3 hours for only 1000 yen. This special service was only available for foreigners, and since I’m a foreigner, I was able to get the deal! The tourist center worker made us an itinerary and gave it to our taxi driver who became our own little tourist guide.

We got to see two different lakes, a shrine, and the ocean. Our taxi driver was the one who taught us about shan shan and other various things about Tottori. I was really excited to see the ocean. The taxi driver even took our picture for us! The shrine we went to was called Hakuto Shrine. There’s a historical story behind the shrine involving a woman and a rabbit, but I didn’t really understand. Shinya and I went through all of the processes of going to a shrine. We washed our hands and mouth, bowed to the god, threw in money, clapped, rang the bell and so on. We also chose mikuji (fortunes). They weren’t that good, so we tied them to the tree.

LakeKoyama.

Sea of Japan.

At Hakuto Shrine.

Bad mikuji.

We got to our ryokan around 6pm. Our room was so spacious and nie! We could see the harbor from our window. We had some hot tea and then immediately went to take baths in the onsen. The onsen also had a nice view of the harbor. I relaxed and bathed for an hour or so, put on my yukata, and met Shinya in a private dining room. Kaiseki ryouri (a meal consisting of many courses of seasonal/regional specialties) is one of the amazing things about staying in a ryokan. It was my first time to eat it. I’ve stayed in cheap ryokan before, and one even had an onsen, but this was my first time to stay in such a nice place and have kaiseki ryouri. The meal was probably my favorite thing about the trip. I think it was Shinya’s too. There was an old woman who served us all the food in our private room. She complimented us a lot and called us oniisan and oneesan. It was so much fun haha! The food was INCREDIBLE! I’ve never had such a fresh feast of seafood before! I got to eat crab legs which I was really excited about. We got to try white squid which is famous in Tottori. There was also sashimi, scallops cooked in rice wine, kamameishi (which we had to have made into onigiri because we were so full), and much much much more! We were so stuffed, we couldn’t move haha! We both had drinks during dinner, and I had fun pouring Shinya’s beer for him. It’s a Japanese thing. After dinner, we relaxed in our room while drinking, playing games, and watching TV. It was a really good day!

Dinner time!!

Scallops cooked in sake.

Sashimi.

White squid.

Crab legs.

I forgot what this is called, but ya, it's a fish lol.
I put a shiso leaf over its face as I ate it.

Shinya very full and happy.

The next morning, we woke up, and after I took a shower, we had a nice Japanese style breakfast. It was my first time to have a Japanese breakfast. Shinya taught me how to eat rice with tsukemono and nori.

Breakfast.

After breakfast, we checked out and took a taxi to Tottori Sakyu. Tottori Sakyu is the main famous sight in Tottori. It’s basically a small desert with large sand dunes that borders the ocean. There are also camels! It was a tough climb to the top, but we made it and could see the beautiful ocean…it was overcast outside though. I learned Shinya was afraid of heights, so we quickly went down the other side so I could play in the water. There were people practicing parasailing off of the sand dunes. That was fun to watch.

Tottori Sakyu.

View from the top. It doesn't look very high, but if you look
at the coast, there is a tiny dot whit is actually a person.
That should give you some perspective. Poor Shinya was
shaking at the top because he was scared of the height.

Playing in the water.

So then, something kind of bad happened…it started down pouring! Like the worst it could possibly be. We got drenched to the point where it would be impossible to ride on a train back because we would ruin the seats and probably get sick from being soaked and under the air conditioning. We still had quite a while before our scheduled train time, so Shinya suggested that after buying souvenirs at the nearby shop and changing into our dirty, sweaty clothes from the previous day (Shinya only brought one pair of jeans and shoes so he couldn’t change), that we go to a love hotel to shower, and dry our clothes with a hair dryer. We were planning on going to the sand museum and possibly having lunch somewhere, but our plans had to change.

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So now I’m going to tell you about love hotels haha! It was my first time to go to one! The reason I am telling you about it is because we didn’t go there to do the dirty lol. I wouldn’t want to share the story if that were the case. Love hotels are an interesting part of Japanese culture, so I’m glad I can give you explanation!

Maybe you are wondering why Shinya would suggest going to a love hotel and not some other hotel. Good question. Love hotels can be rented for a short period of time like 2 hours, 3 hours, half days, etc. Love hotels range in price depending on how nice they are and how long you stay. Nice ones can be quite expensive (they resemble regular hotels and can have different amenities), but standard ones are quite affordable. I believe we rented our room for about 3 hours and it was around 4000 yen (2000 yen each).

So when you walk in, there is no receptionist. I think there is someone on staff, but they are hidden and will only come if beckoned. There is a wall with pictures of rooms with buttons for each room. The pictures that are lit up mean that those rooms are available. The rooms usually have different themes or styles. When you press the button, signs light up on the walls pointing you in the direction of your room. Your room of choice will automatically be unlocked for you. There are no keys involved. You can lock the door once you enter.

The rooms themselves aren’t that much different at first glance from a regular hotel room, unless you get a crazy themed one or something. There are some differences though. Overall, the décor is a little more tacky than a regular hotel (I’m sure there are all sorts of style love hotels, though). The color scheme is a little less neutral and there are gaudy fake flower arrangements and whatnot.

I don’t know for sure, but I think it’s pretty standard that every love hotel room has a full size bath in case you’d like to bathe together and a washlet toilet for cleaning your privates before and after you know what. In the shower, they have every necessity you can think of: shampoo, conditioner, body wash, face wash, toothpaste, toothbrushes, razors, shaving cream, towels, robes, hair brushes, dryers, aftershave, lotions, cologne/perfume, and more. In the fridge, there is wide selection of alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks. It’s set up where you can put in a coin and open each slot for where each drink is contained. On the table, they provide a lighter and ashtray. Next to the bed in a heart-shaped dish are condoms. The lights are on dimmers. There is a very large screened TV in which I believe you can watch porn. We didn’t turn on the TV, though. I have just been told that that’s what you can do. There is also a small vending machine in the room that contains…things. I didn’t look too close because I didn’t want Shinya to notice, but I think there were things like mini vibrators, condoms, panties, handcuffs, lube and stuff like that. Kinda wish I took a closer look haha!

When you are finished, you put your money into a machine in the room. You don’t set the amount of time you want stay in advance. From the time you open the door, a timer begins that keeps track of how long you’ve been there. When you are ready to leave, it tells you how much money you owe according to how long you stayed. The whole process is so discreet, and you don’t have to deal with any staff.

I actually think love hotels are really cool! I’d like to go back sometime when I don’t have to go just to dry my clothes and take a shower haha. ;) I kind of wonder why we don’t have things like this in the U.S. My first thought was that many young Japanese people live with their parents until they get married, so Japanese couples have nowhere to go to be alone and do their business. In America, there are cheap motels for people in that situation…but they are not clean or well equipped like Japanese love hotels. Also, Japan does have this whole weird sex culture thing. I don’t know…what are your thoughts? Why do you think love hotels are popular in Japan but not so much overseas?

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Anyway, just to finish up my Tottori trip story, when we finished showering, eating our leftover onigiri, and, drying our clothes, we made our way towards the station by walking. We killed the last little bit of time by having tea and coffee in a café while talking about the highlights of our trip. The train ride home felt long, and we were both very tired by the end of it, but we had a nice first trip together. Shinya doesn’t travel that much, so he was really excited about the whole experience and wanted to talk about the next trip right away. I told him it was up to him where we went next since I chose Tottori. I’m looking forward to wherever and whenever that’ll be. I’ll keep you updated!

My Night at the Police Station

*READ BEFORE YOU ASSUME!

On a random week night during summer vacation, I had a frightening experience. Let me tell you about it from the beginning…

During summer vacation, my sleeping schedule was pretty extreme. I would go to bed at about 5 in the morning and wake up at about 2pm.  So, on a Wednesday night, Shinya came over after work to chill for a bit before going home around 11:00 or so. He had to work the next day. Since 11pm was still early for me, I decided to chill out at my local bar I always go to, White & Cigar. It closes at 3am, so I figured I’d relax there for about 3 hours and call it a night.

I arrived at about midnight, and at that time, there was only one person there. He is a regular customer who I’m friends with. We chatted together and with the bartender a bit until two other men came in together. We chatted with them a little and talked about movies and alcohol. One of the guys went home leaving his friend behind. Over the course of time, other regulars who are my friends came and left, and in the end (from about 2:30am), it was just me, one of my regular friends, and the remaining guy I didn’t know from the beginning.

For those of you who know me, you probably know about my strong alcohol tolerance. As usual, I was drinking cocktails consisting of alcohol only. The bartender even set one of my drinks on fire to show how potent it was haha! However, I was never more than just buzzed. Throughout the time I was there with the guy I didn’t know, he was really impressed by my drink choices and wanted to try everything I was drinking for himself. Take note that when he first got there, he was already a bit tipsy and was drinking seabreezes (a weak cocktail) which lead me to believe that he wasn’t that good at handling alcohol. So anyway, I warned him that what I was drinking wasn’t for the faint of heart. I was drinking crazy things like Spyritus and Lemon Hart. However, since he was already drunk, he didn’t care. I didn’t really care either to be honest.

The bartender lit some Lemon Hart on fire
to show us how potent it is.

He began to get progressively complicated to speak to. His speech was incomprehensible to me, and he was at the point of making farm animal noises as a joke. So basically I began to ignore him and talk with my girl friend sitting next to me. Sometimes he’d try to chime in, but I couldn’t understand what he was saying, and according to the bartender, what he was saying had no relation to our conversation. In some instances, he was apparently insulting my friend and calling her ugly. It became past 3am, so I asked for my check. My friend was almost done with her drink. It was about that time when the man out of nowhere became angry and violent for unknown reasons.

I wasn’t paying attention to him at all when he suddenly starts yelling, and I see a glass fly past me in the direction of the bartender and shatter on the wall. I was like WTF?! He goes to grab one of the big glass peanut jars, and all I can say is “Yamete! Yamete (Stop! Stop!)!” I cover my head and face as he proceeds to throw that over the bar, too. Luckily it didn’t shatter. At that point, my friend and I get out of our seats, afraid he will throw something else. He’s yelling things I can’t understand. He approaches my friend and I and shoves my friend on the shoulder. She is a very thin Japanese woman, so she almost fell over, but I caught her thankfully. The bartender came around the bar to try

to restrain him and tells us to go home, but the man is between us and the entrance. The man, screaming about who knows what, picks up one of the barstools and chucks it THROUGH the window, shattering it. At this point, it has gotten scary, and the only thing I can think to do is grab my friend’s wrist, pull her into the bathroom, and lock us in. I felt sorry for leaving the bartender alone with the man because he is not the fighting type, but I’m sure he was concerned about our safety and wanted us away from the crazy man. Unfortunately, neither of us grabbed our phones that were in our purses (there was no time to think while all of this was going on).

While we were locked in the bathroom, the man tried to open the door once. We heard more shuffling and yelling. There were times of silence though. We were concerned about whether the bartender would be able to call the police. Meanwhile, my friend was crying and contemplating running out to get her phone which I strongly discouraged because I thought the man would become angry again. Plus I’m sure the bartender wanted us to stay safe in the restroom. It seemed like we were in the bathroom forever until we heard sirens. We heard the man fight with the police until the bartender final came and told us it was safe for us to come out.

Apparently, while we were in the bathroom, the man had fits of anger and moments of silence. He didn’t hurt the bartender, but instead asked for more beer while muttering to himself. While the man was drinking the beer, the bartender was able to call the police. THANK GOODNESS!

The police told us we had to immediately go to the station for questioning. It was about 4 or 4:30 at this point. I was nervous because my Japanese isn’t perfect, but I did my best to answer their questions. They questioned all four of us in separate rooms (I could hear the man still going crazy through the walls). It took forever… At about 7:00, the questioning was over, and we were all exhausted. Then we found out that we still had to go back to the bar to take pictures. Basically the cops had us stand in different positions to reenact what happened. They took many pictures for about half an hour. By the time I got home and into bed, it was about 8am. Good thing I had no work the next day!!

In the end, things turned out fine. No one was hurt, and the man paid for all the damage and bought a cake for us as an apology. I ate the cake, but I never want to see his face again. He is banned from the bar. Throughout the whole experience, I was pretty calm. I was shocked but not panicking. The next day or so I was a little traumatized, but I soon got over it. Shinya was pretty worried about me which I appreciated.

If I think about it now, I wonder if I should’ve been more scared like my friend was. I think I still have a child’s mindset that nothing bad will actually happen to me. What if that man grabbed a knife from, behind the counter in his rage? What if the glass hit me or my friends? Those things were very possible. I have trained myself to not think about “what if’s,” but maybe I should think a little more carefully about possible realities. What can I do to be prepared in these sorts of situations?

This isn’t the first act of violence I’ve witnessed in Japan. Actually, at the same bar, I’ve seen a brawl between three men (I think one was trying to break them up). At that time, glasses were broken over heads, punches to the face were thrown (the sound a fist makes when hitting skin is not like what you hear in the movies), and blood was drawn. Luckily it didn’t last long, they went outside, and disappeared. I wasn’t involved in that. I was just a witness, and the police weren’t called, so I didn’t care that much. I just felt bad that the bartender’s stuff was broken. I helped him pick up.

I’ve seen a woman screaming at her boyfriend/husband (I don’t know) at the top of her lungs in the middle of the street while continuously beating him with her purse. He just stood there and took it. I might be forgetting some other violent events as well.

Japan has an image of being so safe, but in my experience, I don’t find it to be that safe. Sure, there are no guns, people generally are more polite, and you can often leave your purse or phone at a table while you use the restroom without anything happening (I’d never do that though haha). However, I have had more dangerous experiences in Japan than I have in the U.S. I’ve also heard personal experiences from my friends as well.

I always wonder if I put myself in these situations. Maybe I didn’t have many bad experiences in the U.S. because I didn’t go to bars or clubs often, and I didn’t live alone. Is it because I’m a foreign woman in Japan that I attract bad men? In Japan, I have seen violence, I have been threatened and stalked (I also went to the police that time. I have never been to the police station in the U.S.!), I have been groped in bars, clubs, and on trains, my friends have been stalked and groped, one of my friends even had a pervert expose himself to her (actually, a guy exposed himself to me in Hokkaido once, but he was Canadian, so maybe that doesn’t count when it comes to talking about Japan’s safety), and lastly, my friends’ wallets have been stolen.

I have written about this topic before in my “Crime in Japan” and “Being Foreign in Japan” posts. So if you are interested in hearing more about my experiences and feelings on these topics, please read. I don’t want to repeat myself too much in this post. Mainly, I want my readers to take one thing away from this post. Don’t think you’re invincible. Bad things CAN happen to you. We hear this all the time from motivational speakers and what not, but really, think about what I’m saying for one minute, even if you are someone who doesn’t go to bars and clubs. Bad things can happen anywhere. Think about what sort of situations can arise and what you would do in those situations. I myself need to take more time to do so. I’m not telling you to worry all the time about something bad happening to you (I used to be like that in college, and it was miserable. It took me a while to fix my mindset in that respect), but I’m telling you to be prepared and to believe that you are not exempt from dangerous situations. 

Summer Vacation 2014

Last summer was very eventful. I went to Korea, my mother came to visit for a while, and I went to Tokyo and more! This summer, I also did a lot of things, but overall, it was a lot more laid back than last year. This year I didn’t have any visitors, so I had more time to myself to chill. Since I just went to Hong Kong in spring and am planning to go to Taiwan in November and America in May, I couldn’t afford to do any overseas travel during the summer vacation. I did however visit a few places and had a lot of fun! So let me tell you about it!

My main big events include a BBQ, the Kobe firework show, the Toukae festival in Nara, a sushi party, the Balabushka day trip, Summer Sonic, and a trip to Tottori. Besides these main things which I will describe in more detail, my normal days and free time was spent watching tons of TV online (my new internet is so awesome!), relaxing, spending time with Shinya, having dinner with friends, and drinking at bars…every day.

Ken's birthday.

Gina was in town.

Lisa's birthday.

Dinner night with the girls.

First I’ll tell you about the BBQ with my friends. We gathered (the usual group of people) at a big park in Sakai, Osaka. It was the first time for Shinya to meet my friends which was exciting. This park was well equipped for having BBQs. We cooked all sorts of meat, and veggies, and lastly we made yakisoba. It was really hot that day. We were all pretty tired from the heat and waking up early, so after the BBQ, we all went our separate ways. Shinya and I stopped at a local café for coffee on the way home which was a nice finish to the day. Perhaps one of the nicest things was that we saw a huge, full rainbow on the way home.

BBQ.

Yuki was crashing our girl picture.
So we decided that he is a girl too.

Rainbow!

The next event was the Kobe fireworks show. I went to it last year with my mother. This year I was excited to go with my boyfriend since it’s something that couples normally do together. I wore a yukata and everything! There was one bad thing about this day though…it was raining the whole time until like 5 minutes before the fireworks began. Yes, I am really grateful that the rain let up miraculously right before the fireworks, and the show didn’t have to be canceled…BUT we were soaked and bummed out. It wasn’t quite the romantic experience I was hoping for, but when the fireworks began, the joy I saw on Shinya’s face gave me so much energy. J He hadn’t seen fireworks since he was a little kid and had no recollection of them. He was so impressed.

Yukata.

Kobe at night.

Best shot.

Fireworks,

A few days later, I went to Toukae (燈花会) in Nara. It’s a big candle festival that takes place at night. It was my first time to attend this festival. I went with one of my coworkers. Before the festival, we had one of the most gorgeous Italian dinners I’ve ever had at a restaurant called Borgo Konishi. The place sat only about 10 people or so. Everything was in small courses, and by the end, we were full! I had such a nice time! The festival itself was very pretty. It had a romantic feeling to it.

Wine.

Fish.

My first glimpse of candles.

Pretty!

The following day, I went to my first sushi party! It was at the restaurant that is like a 2 minute walk from my home. I had met the owner of the restaurant at White & Cigar. That’s when he invited me. Also, his two sons are my students. I had no idea what to expect really before I went to the party (except to eat sushi lol). I didn’t know anyone who would be there. There ended up being around 30 to 40 people, and most of them were quite young! I ended up having a really nice time! I ate a ton of delicious sushi, drank, chatted with everyone, participated in a janken tournament, met the owner’s wife, kids, and their German home stay student, and saw the chefs carve 2 fish into sashimi.  The last part kind of freaked me out, but I was ok. I’m actually going back for another sushi party soon! I can’t wait!

Preparing the food.

Carving a katsuo to be eaten.

The next event I went to was the Balabushka day trip. Balabushka is the bar in Shinsaibashi that I often go to. On the day of the trip, I woke up super early and went to Namba. From there, we rode a charter bus. Maybe there were about 40+ people. We went to an athletic park in Osaka. Still, it was kind of a far ride. We watched Frozen on the ride there and did karaoke on the way back.

At the athletic park, we had a really nice space reserved. It was in the forest with a rushing stream nearby. We drank a lot, had a BBQ, swam in the stream, fished, and played games and so on. I was so exhausted by the end of the day that when I got home around 9 pm, I took a shower and went straight to bed haha! *Interesting point: At the athletic park, I saw a little elementary school girl with a T-shirt that said “Fantastic F*uck 69” on it… probably the worst Engrish shirt I’ve see lol.

Playing in the river.

The group.

Me trying to smash a watermelon lol.

This year I went to Summer Sonic in Osaka rather than Tokyo. I got to see some pretty cool artists like Krewella, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, and Avenged Sevenfold plus more. I also saw my first K-pop group, CNBLUE. By far, Krewella was the most exciting! I really like Avenged Sevenfold, but I had already seen them before. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, a Japanese metalcore band, shocked me with how awesome they were, but I didn’t know them at all before Summer Sonic. Krewella is an EDM group I’ve listened to a lot and like very much. Since I had never seen them, I was so excited! They rocked harder than any metal band at Summer Sonic in my opinion! Usually there are 3 people in the group, but at the show, it was just the two main girls. The other guy is kind of a back up person, so I didn’t really care. Those two girls are drop dead gorgeous and from Chicago. I was totally star struck. Despite the fact that I was sun burnt and thirsty and it being super hot, sweaty, sunny, I danced my heart out to their music in broad daylight. It was a different experience, but it was awesome!

Badass crew.

CNBLUE

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

Krewella.

Avenged Sevenfold.

One bad thing that came out of Summer Sonic this year was that although it wasn’t as hot as it was in Tokyo last year, for whatever reason, I got horribly sun burnt this year. Like the worst I’ve ever been burnt in my life. I used sunscreen twice, but it wasn’t enough I guess. Probably because I sweated it off. This sunburn was so bad that I could barely walk at the end of the day. It was so painful. I actually cried when I took a shower (in cold water) because the water hitting my body hurt so badly. For the next few days, I couldn’t walk well when I got out of bed in the morning. I was on painkillers for about a week and was rubbing aloe on my body 3+ times a day. My skin peeled on my back, face, chest, and shoulders, but the worst were my calves. The whole back of my calves were completely covered in blisters. When they broke, my skin came off in huge pieces. It was disgusting. The new skin underneath was raw and painful. I’m writing this blog 3 weeks later, and my skin is still peeling on my legs slightly. Ughhhh. I have learned my lesson. From now on, I’ll apply sunscreen every hour!

Where my wristband was.

Disgusting blisters. :O

The last main event of the summer was my trip to Tottori Prefecture with Shinya, but I will write about that in a separate post. So that concludes my summer vacation! Some parts of me wish I had had more money to do some bigger traveling, but on the other hand, although sometimes it felt like a waste, I think it was good that I had time to just chill. It’s been a long time since I was able to do that. Who knows what the next summer will bring?

Goodbye Tawara, Hello Nawa

For those of who don’t know anything about the Japanese education system, I will enlighten you on one aspect. Teachers involuntarily get transferred from school to school with little warning each year. I don’t exactly agree with this system, but I suppose there are advantages and disadvantages. You could say that I’m somewhat lucky because I knew going into this that I would have to switch schools after two years if I decided to stay. It doesn’t make it any less sad really, but at least I was prepared.

I think that many JETs entertain the idea that they will be able to persuade their BOE’s to let them stay at a single school, but when it comes to the Japanese rule book, changing things and testing it isn’t exactly Japanese style. As foreigners, we are here to suggest our ideas in hopes of opening peoples’ eyes to other options, but it’ll most likely lead to hassle and stressed relations. Therefore, once I decided that I wasn’t going to put up any fight (thanks to my sempai trying to fight the good fight himself and losing), I decided to look at the positives and embrace the opportunities of transferring to a new school.

Before I tell you about my new school, I want to write about leaving Tawara JHS. In fact, I want to dedicate most of this post to Tawara.

Saying goodbye at Tawara was a long and sad process. I came to Japan literally knowing nothing about how Japanese schools worked and over two years, grew into an experienced teacher. Tawara raised me, and I am grateful to have had such a wonderful school. The staff and students were very kind to me, and I can honestly say I had a perfect experience. Over two years, I made friends with teachers and formed strong bonds with students. All good things must come to an end, though….BUT I’m a pretty firm believer that when one door closes, another one opens. I’ve gone through life moving from one great experience to the next. Of course they haven’t come without struggles.

I have always been pretty open with my students about how I would only be at Tawara for two years, but many of them seemed to forget that. When I had about one month left at Tawara, I made my final bulletin board. The theme was, “Sayounara Tawara. Thank you for the memories.” I posted pictures of our times together and wrote a heartfelt message thanking everyone and telling them how I’ll miss them. Once that board was up, I had students coming up to me every day telling me not to go. Literally some students were in tears hugging me! It was hard for me to stay composed as well. I would tell them that we still had a month left together, so let’s enjoy it. That seemed to help.

As the semester began to wind down, little by little, the final goodbyes began to roll in. For example, the last  3^rd grade English test of the year had a section where they must write a message to me in English. I was touched and had no idea how much my smile meant to them. I always tried hard to smile and laugh as much as possible with the kids. I was happy to know that they noticed.

I had my last informal nomikai (drinking party) with my peers where they chanted for me to give a speech. They love speeches in Japan.

On my last day of art club (I was an active member of the school’s art club), I bowed, and thanked all of them for the fun times. Two of the members came up to me, teary-eyed, and one of them said to me in English, “You are a part of my life.” I was so impressed. I had no idea how much I influenced these kids.

Saying goodbye at my elementary school was particularly difficult. I only taught the new 5^th graders for one semester, but there was this strong bond between us from the beginning. I loved them so much, and they loved me! When I would walk in to class to teach a lesson, the students would clap and cheer and yell, “Stephanie is the best!” I felt like a celebrity haha! I ate lunch with each of the 5^th grade classes before leaving. During those lunches, students gave me all their little treasures: key chains, pencils, bracelets, notes, and toys. Almost every student (in 6^th grade too), wanted my autograph before I left. I had to chuckle at the kids who wanted me to sign their arms in pen. Before leaving each class, I gave little farewell speeches, and the kids stood up with big smiling faces and yelled, “Goodbye Miss Stephanie! Thank you!” I was surprised by how sad the elementary staff was, too. I didn’t have many opportunities to talk with all of them, but on my final day, I gave a speech in the staff room, and received many gifts, compliments, and thank yous.

In my last classes at the junior high, I gave personalized speeches to each class. I was given booklets containing messages from all the students. On my very last day, I had to give two big speeches. First, I gave my speech in the gym in front of the entire school. I did it in English and Japanese because I wanted to make sure everyone could understand. I was given flowers. The second speech I gave was at the formal party for the end of the semester. It was fun and relaxed. Everyone was pretty drunk. I got up in front of everyone, said the serious stuff and closed with funny anecdotes. I was given nice gifts by the teachers.

Messages from the students.

After my speech.

MANY MANY GIFTS! ...yes, that's a pumpkin lol.

With that, my time at Tawara ended. However, my relationships remain. Already I have spent time with Tawara teachers outside of work. I have become friends with former students using social media. Also, since teachers are transferred from school to school each year, I’m sure the new school year will bring Tawara teachers to my current school. Already there is one teacher from Tawara here.

So now I will tell you a little about my new school. It’s called Shijonawate JHS, Nawa or Nawate for short. Unlike Tawara which was a 45 minute commute, it’s very close to my home, so I can walk or ride my bike (riding a bike is a little difficult because it’s all uphill. I can usually make it about halfway until I need to walk with my bike haha). It’s really nice being able to leave work at any time without worrying about bus times. Going home is downhill, so I can get home in about 5 minutes! Nawa is quite a bit bigger than Tawara, so names will be harder to remember, but it’s not that big of a deal.

I previously said that I wanted to look at the positives and embrace the opportunities of going to a new school, and I have done just that. Knowing how things work at Japanese schools has been very helpful. Also, my Japanese speaking abilities, teaching abilities, etc. have improved by a thousand haha! One of the most important things is that I’m not nervous in front of my coworkers or students because I’m used to teaching now. I don’t know how long it has been since this school has gotten a new teacher with experience teaching in Japanese schools (many years probably), but I think I’ve shocked everyone at Nawa with my confidence. I might have even overdone it a little. I have worked at Nawa for a full week now, and it seems like people have adjusted to me and are starting to embrace my openness. The kids seem to really be into me so far. They are much shyer than Tawara kids in my opinion, but I will be sure to break them of that haha! I’m still adjusting to the different teaching styles of my fellow English teachers (surprisingly I only teach with 3 out of 7 of them), but it hasn’t been so bad. I still haven’t taught all the classes yet, but so far, so good. As I’m writing this, I plan to attend art club for the first time today. I’m looking forward to that. I brought some of my old ideas to this school like my bulletin board, for example. People seem to be pretty excited about it.

Overall, the atmosphere of this school is much more relaxed feeling than Tawara. I always heard Tawara was kind of strict, but it was all I knew. I feel pretty welcomed at this school. I could see myself working here for another 2 years. I’m interested in finding out what working here will bring and what relationships I’ll form with students and staff. Perhaps it’s too early, but I have already thought about having to say goodbye to this school as well after two years. It’s a never ending cycle haha.

One thing that I have learned throughout my various experiences in life so far is that no matter what you do and where you go, if you are like me -someone who likes to travel and move around- you will always have people and places you will miss. It’s an inevitable part of living the kind of life I’ve chosen so far. In college, I met so many different people from all over and Japan is no different. There are people who have come and gone in my life. There are places I have visited throughout the world. I will always miss those people and places (and perhaps I will meet them again!), but I am so thankful to have had the experiences. Who would I be without them? I feel my life would be so dull. I can truthfully admit that my life is particularly exciting! I never have a dull week. There are always things to do, places to travel, and goals to accomplish. I used to fear not having a concrete plan. I think at a young age, having a solid goal is important and useful, but now, at this stage in my life, there are so many options that have opened up to me. It’s exciting! With all my experiences, the world has become a much smaller place. 

Japan Life – Level Up!

Something wonderful happened a couple months ago…I got a boyfriend! A Japanese boyfriend to be precise. After a year or so of experiencing single life, which I thoroughly enjoyed to the fullest, it’s nice to have someone again who I can be close and romantic with. Sometimes single life got lonely.

Finding a Japanese boyfriend was particularly difficult (finding one in your own country is hard enough), but I knew it wasn’t impossible, so I never gave up. I think foreign (looking) guys have it easy when it comes to dating Japanese girls whereas for foreign girls, it’s a bit difficult. I’ve discussed this topic in my “Dating Culture” post if you want to read more. It seemed like every Japanese guy I was interested in either just wanted to get into my pants or was too shy and/or uninterested. The other ones had girlfriends. I thank my lucky stars that I found Shinya. He’s one of the rare ones out there who is ok with dating a foreigner, looking for a real relationship, and is not too shy (I mean, he is definitely shy, but he responds well and opens up if I initiate things).

I drew us in Art Club!

The point of this post is not to divulge my personal life to you. I prefer to keep most details of our relationship private, but I do want to explain my experience of having an interracial relationship and how it’s changed my way of life in Japan, so some details might come out. I hope this helps give hope to foreign girls living in Japan who are looking for a Japanese boyfriend. Also, I keep this blog for my person pleasure (and friend’s/family’s pleasure back at home), kind of like a public journal. I feel like if I don’t write my thoughts down, they’ll fade away…hence the reason I’m writing about this.

My friends who know I have a boyfriend tend to ask me first, “Where did you meet?” I believe it’s good to meet people at places you enjoy because it means that you share a similar interest. I met Shinya at my favorite, local bar - White & Cigar. We are both regulars there. In my opinion, it was the perfect place for us to meet. When I first saw him, I was immediately drawn to him. The customers at White are often middle aged folk. Shinya was one of the first young and attractive customers I saw there. He was sitting far away, so we couldn’t talk, but I brought treats to share with everyone, and I made sure he got some. On his way out, I had our mutual friend introduce us. She told him that I wanted to talk with him next time we were both there. The next time we were both there, he was sitting far away again. Thanks to the same friend, she made it so I could moved seats and sit next to him. We immediately hit it off, and things progressed quickly from there. He lives very close to me, so we are able to meet about 4 times a week and spend a lot of time together.

A slightly peculiar fact is that he has never been abroad, doesn’t speak any foreign languages, has never dated a foreigner, and doesn’t have any foreign friends. I find that most Japanese guys who are actually interested in dating a foreign girl have had at least one, if not all, of these experiences. At first I was seriously perplexed as to why he would date me. I wondered if it was possible that he was like other Japanese guys I’ve ran into who just want to “see what it’s like” to be with a foreigner although he didn’t seem that way at all. After things became official, I asked him why he was ok with dating me (I know it’s kind of bad to ask because people are people regardless of race, culture, nationality, heritage, etc. and we shouldn’t discriminate, but I’ve lived in Japan for too long not to know that discrimination does exist quite strongly here). He told me that it was unexpected and simply by chance that we started dating. If it were a nice, cute Japanese girl that started talking to him at the bar then he would’ve dated her, but it was me, and I just so happen to be a foreign, nice, cute girl. He said that it was good timing. So in other words, my race simply doesn’t matter to him, which is how it should be! I felt really refreshed to hear this...especially from someone who has little experience with foreigners.

Of course, there are some big challenges in an interracial relationship. First being the language barrier. My Japanese if good enough to hold normal and even some complex conversations, but of course, there are many times when I simply do not know what he is saying. I still have a lot of Japanese to learn. Besides some random vocabulary and phrases, Shinya doesn’t speak English. However, there are two very important factors that have contributed to helping us overcome the language obstacle. First, Shinya is very patient with me. He understands that with him not speaking English, it’s hard for me to speak in Japanese all the time. If I don’t understand, he will try to rephrase or give me time to look up words on my phone. Second, he tries hard to use whatever English he knows whenever he can, and he is not shy about doing it which is important! Even people who are very good at English are sometimes too shy to actually speak it. Although he uses broken English, I am so pleased that he tries. He memorizes a lot of the things I teach him, so he will probably get better and better as time goes on.

Another obstacle is cultural differences. I’ve been living in Japan long enough to have adapted to Japanese culture, but Japanese dating culture is something I haven’t had much experience with besides casual dating. Actually being in a real relationship brings forth a lot of weird little things. First thing is “the confession.” He confessed to me, which simply means that he said he liked me but in the way we use “like” in junior high school. “Do you like him or like like him?” Haha, remember those days?! He confessed that he like likes me. If I say that I “like” him back, then that means we become boyfriend and girlfriend from what I had heard. Since, I wasn’t completely clear of the rules when he said he liked me, I had to ask him immediately after to make sure that it meant we were boyfriend and girlfriend! Kind of awkward! I asked, “So if we say we like each other, does that mean we are boyfriend and girlfriend?” to which he replied, “Yes.” I said, “Ok, I thought so, but in America we do it differently.” He asked me, “How so?” and I explained that in America, we don’t say “I like you,” we ask, “Will you be my boyfriend/girlfriend?” Once that was cleared up, I was fine! Lol.

One thing he mentioned was that we should get “pair rings.” I thought it was a really nice/cute idea. Japanese people have told me that they think “pair rings” are an American thing, and I’m sitting over here like, “What? It’s not a Japanese thing?” I don’t know anyone who had “pair rings” in America. I haven’t actually asked Shinya where he got the idea, but I’m just going to assume that it’s another cultural difference…one I like very much. J We’ve done a little looking around, but we haven’t found anything we like yet.

Another difference in dating culture is way of showing affection. It took a while (ok, I’m still not completely used to it) for me to get over him always grabbing and poking my chub. Every time he touches my stomach, I groan and tell him to stop because I am embarrassed by my fat and don’t want him to touch it, but for whatever reason (maybe because he doesn’t have any fat of his own lol), he LOVES squeezing my stomach, upper arms, and love handles. I ask him why he does it, and he says it’s his way of showing love…and it’s interesting haha! Also, sometimes he’ll pat me on the head or back like you would with a dog. I asked him why he patted me like a dog, and he said, “It’s showing love.” Don’t get me wrong, hugging, kissing, and holding hands are still common. Anyway, these are just a couple examples.

The last big obstacle I can think of is the future. I’m not the type of person who likes to date someone if I am certain we have no future together. I date in hopes that the relationship will be successful. So of course, even though it is still far too early to take our relationship to any of these levels, I am still thinking about what our future together could be like if we got married or had a kid. If we were to get married, it would mean me having to live in Japan. Am I ok with that? - I don’t know. Maybe under certain circumstances. Can I master Japanese? - Probably. Can/will he learn English? - I hope so. How will he communicate with my family? –I’m gona have to translate… What kind of wedding, home, and lifestyle would we have? Can he get over his fear of planes to visit America? – He says he can. It’s important to me that he knows about my culture. Would he be willing to spend any long periods of time in America? If we had a kid, would his/her life be difficult in Japan being “half.” If Shinya doesn’t learn English, would he be ok with me raising our kid to be bilingual? Could we send our kid to America or move to America for a period of time so he/she could spend time with his/her family? Etc. etc. These are all things floating around in my mind. I think it’s important to think about these things early on because there is no point in continuing a relationship in my opinion if there is no future. We have discussed some of these things. I think it’ll be kind of a slow process figuring everything out.

For all of these obstacles, there are good and surprising things too! I’ve read things online and other peoples’ blogs about dating Asian men, and there some stereotypes. Sure, some of the stereotypes apply like work comes first, I’m bigger than him (at least we are the same height), and he’ll pay for most things, but some don’t at all. For example, he’s already told his family about me, our relationship has progressed quickly, he’s is willing to hold hands in public, and he’s pretty open about his feelings. Plus, I can reap the benefits of the things he does that are more commonly done by Japanese men and not Western ones like him holding my purse when it’s heavy or ordering for me at restaurants (maybe Japanese guys have always done that for me because my native language is English…idk haha).

Sending cute decorated pictures of yourself
to you boyfriend is a Japanese cultural thing
...I think! Haha! Anyway, he showed this
 picture to his family when he told them about
me. Don't know if it's a good or bad thing! :P

So let me talk about some more positives. As most of my friends know, since moving to Japan, I have become super attracted to Asian men (well at least Japanese and Korean lol)…and let me just say, my boyfriend is IKEMEN!!!! (hot!!!!)!!!!!! :P So freaking cool! Also, I don’t really think this has anything to do with culture, but he is pretty much the perfect boyfriend (maybe I’m still in the honeymoon phase lol). As I mentioned before, he pays for me all the time, he’s affectionate and kind, understanding and accepting, and is not confrontational in any way. The best thing is that we have so much fun together! Whether we are just chilling in my apartment or going on a nice date, we get along really well, have fun conversation, and really enjoy each other’s company. We share some common interests as well like anime, movies, drinking, eating (particularly seafood), going out, and sleeping… I think we have the most fun on dates where we go to a bar after dinner. I would say we spend like 60% of our time together in bars. :P We don’t particularly drink a lot, just often. After work, we tend to meet at the local bar for one or two drinks and then head home. My week nights have become so much more interesting!

I have several picture of us, but he's kind a shy
about me posting them. He let me post these purikura
ones on Facebook, though. Probably not the best
representation of him since it looks like he's wearing
lipstick haha! Cute nonetheless.

He introduced me to this bar. - Shotbar DEN.

...and this one. - The Old Bridge. Very classy places!

Having a Japanese boyfriend means I can experience Japan in a whole different way. He takes me to his favorite bars and restaurants that I’ve never heard of and introduces me to new food. Alternatively, I introduce him to a lot of homemade American food. We have a summer trip planned to Tottori where we will stay in a nice ryokan and eat kaiseki (seasonal delicacies course meal). I’ve stayed in cheap ryokan on my own before, but they are definitely geared toward couples. I’m so excited to have a kaiseki meal in my room for the first time! We haven’t reached this level in our relationship yet, but one day I’m sure I’ll get to experience the Japanese “love hotel.” Haha! I told him it was one thing I wanted to try in the future. Also, this year will be the first time for me to spend winter vacation in Japan… although I’m heartbroken about not going home, there is part of me that’s excited to see what the holiday season is like in Japan. Christmas is known for being a romantic couples’ day in Japan, so I’m looking forward to seeing what that will be like. Having a partner means I have someone to experience many things with. Of course I have my friends, and I will continue to do fun things with them, but I’m enjoying doing things from a couple’s perspective. It’s a whole new world within a world that is still new to me.

We love going out to eat together! Kushikatsu.

The best sushi I've had!

Kaisen chige.

Sashimi.