Sunday, December 22, 2013

Japanese Girl Friends

For anyone who knows me, you probably know or have noticed that I tend to hang out with guys more so than girls. I’m not exactly sure why this is. I like girly things, and I like girl time, but I guess I also am interested in lots of guy stuff and my somewhat rough personality is better suited for hanging with men.

There are times when I really crave or enjoy girl time though. I have a good amount of foreign girl friends, but I feel like I lack Japanese girl friends. I have acquaintances and girl friends who I see infrequently or in phases, but I don’t really have a very close, consistent, Japanese, girl friend who I see on a weekly or monthly basis like I do guy ones. Yuki has told me that even my Japanese sounds kind of manly from only hanging out with and learning Japanese from guys.

So, the main point of this post is to introduce you to my new Japanese girl friend, Ha-chan. I can’t really say as of now what kind of friends we will become, whether it’s close friends, acquaintances, etc., but I hung out with her recently, and it was really nice. I just want to write about my experience hanging with a Japanese girl.

I met Ha-chan at Jaws. We exchanged LINE ID’s and made a girl date! We decided to meet up for pancakes. Over dinner we talked, and it was really nice! It was fun talking to a girl because we could talk about cute guys and stuff. ;) I guess I already do that too with my guy friends, but it probably annoys them lol. After pancakes, we went to Tower Records, browsed, and bonded over dance music. After all, we did meet at a dance club. I had such a nice time, and Ha-chan is such a sweetheart! I’m looking forward to hanging out with her again!

Ha-chan. :)

A JET Weekend – Hisashiburi!

A couple weekends ago, all the JETs in Osaka-fu had a conference on Thursday and Friday. We met in Abiko and had various workshops and whatnot. That’s not what I’m going to talk about though. The point is that since we were all in one place at one time, it was convenient for all of us to get together after the conference on Friday. It was actually an arranged event at Tin’s Hall. They opened early for us, and every drink we bought, 200 yen went to aiding the Philippines. Also, there was a stand-up comedy act at the event as well. It was a fun time! I became friends with one of the comedians that night. Waka is his nickname. He was really funny, so we decided to hang out the following day. Overall, it was just a really nice to catch up with everyone. I hadn’t seen many of my JET friends in quite some time!

Catching up with Tanner. Love this kid.
The next day was the JET Christmas party at Club Class. Before going to the club, Diego, Waka, Shawn, and I went to Doma Doma izakaya for drinks and snacks. We did a three hour nomihoudai. Needless to say, after that we were all feeling quite good. It was really fun getting to know Waka. He’s just as funny off the stage as he is on.

Sake bombs.
Good times!
Waka squishing his face in the door.
When we got to Club Class, it was nothing like I expected. First, I expected it to be only JET’s and friends of JET’s, but when I walked in, there were a ton of Japanese people I didn’t know, mostly guys. As I was walking in, Aimee told me that there were a ton of hot guys... it took literally about 10 seconds after I walked in for about 3 or 4 gorgeous guys to walk up to me and start talking me up. You know, the usual, “Where are you from? Do you speak Japanese? Are you a student?” After the questions, they all started offering to buy me drinks. I was like, “WHAT IS GOING ON?? THIS IS AWESOME!” Haha! I did not pay for a single drink the entire night. I’m used to getting attention from males at bars and clubs because I’m the typical blue-eyed, light-haired, pale girl, but usually it’s only one guy at a time, and usually they are like older salary men or just average dudes. Sometimes I get one hot guy interested in me, but never more than one! It took me a bit to figure out what was going on, but I noticed a sign that said “pick-up” event on it. Later I asked Reiko, the event coordinator, about why it was such a nanpa-y atmosphere (nanpa means like guys hitting on girls and trying to pick them up), and she explained that when she asked the owner of the club if she could use his space for a JET party, he agreed but advertised it as a pickup event to his regular customers. So in other words, a bunch of guys (and girls) knew that a bunch of foreigners would be gathering and possibly interested in more than talking. :P

Beautiful men.
While I was at the club/bar, I talked with some of my JET friends, but mostly just let the hotties keep buying me tequila shots. I was having a blast! It was such a self-esteem booster! Andrew was DJ-ing at the event. We danced a bit, and I decided which guy I liked the best. From then, I only danced and talked with him for the most part. After hanging there a little bit longer, we decided to relocate to Jaws. A pretty big group came along. I walked hand in hand with the hot guy. When we got there, we danced for a while, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t end up kissing the hot guy quite a bit. Unfortunately, he works in Tokyo, so nothing can really of our one night relationship. L In any case, I had a great night! I felt so popular and cool! I was the perfect level of buzzed the whole night and felt fine the next day. Saturday nights in Japan are something I will hold dear to me for the rest of my life. <3

Wednesday, December 18, 2013

My Birthday ~ 24!

The Saturday after my birthday was the big party! It was actually a double party for Rachel and I since her birthday was in a few days. Let me just say that it was probably the best birthday party I’ve ever had in my life! I didn’t do any of the planning which was a new thing for me. According to Yuki, Japanese people usually just let their friends take care of planning their birthday parties. So, I just sat back and let it happen! There were fourteen people at our party.

We met at Kyushu izakaya at 7pm. Shinya gave the kanpai (cheers) speech which was something along the lines of 「皆さん、お疲れ様!飲みましょう!」Translation: “Thank you everyone for your hard work! Let’s drink!” We ate and drank a lot. The guys brought out two cakes. One Rachel bought for me (she didn’t know that we were also going to celebrate her birthday as well xD) and one Yuki made from scratch. I was so impressed!! Both tasted delicious! As I blew out the candles, I made a wish that I wouldn’t die from alcohol poisoning that night…my wish came true lol! Also, I received tons of presents! It was wonderful!! :D As far as I can remember, there were a lot of antics that went on at the party, mostly perverted. For example, I spilled my wine trying to stand up while holding multiple drinks, we laughed at this fried seaweed stuff that looked like pubic hair (we claimed that it was Akira’s lol), Ken of course took off his shirt and I pinched his nipples, Andrew hit on the waitress, and whipped cream or something got flung on my pants and we obviously made dirty jokes about it. This time (unlike Yuki’s party), no one puked, fell on their face, or had their pants pulled down at the izakaya. It was very clean fun!

The start of a good night.
Happy birthday me.
Things were getting silly.
The world is pretty much perfect at this moment.
Not unusual.
You have to admit, that seaweed really does
look like pubes...
The next stop was Balabushka. Before we went though, some people left to catch their trains and whatnot. It was funny because Andrew left without officially saying goodbye to me, but then we ran into him while we were walking Aimee to the train station, so Ken and I attacked him, and I got my official goodbye. Norris left, after I pinched his cheek. Ken-chan decided to give me his gift after we left the izakaya. They were super awesome glasses! I opened them, put them on, and then he took my face in his hands and tenderly kissed my forehead…BAHAHA...awkward! I wonder if he remembers?? We also asked a random guy to take a picture of us on Dotonbori. I’m so glad we did!

We found you Andrew!!
I love this group shot!
Half of the group was already at Balabushka. We joined them. I of course did a birthday tequila shot with Joe and Yuki. After getting a lap dance from Ken and talking with people, we all sat down and played this game that Rachel made. Apparently it’s a British game. I think it was called pass the parcel or something like that. It was super cool! Basically there are layers of wrapping paper with a box in the center. In each layer, there are gifts and like challenges you must do. You pass the package around until the music stops, and whoever is holding it gets the gifts in that layer but must do the challenge. I think you can refuse, but you have to drink if you do. I ended up with the package twice. The first time I had to drink a cocktail made up of everyone’s drinks. It was gross! Like fruity, strong beer (I hate beer). Luckily when I wasn’t looking, Ken took it and drank most of it. Also, I had to change an article of clothing with someone, so Yuki and I switched shirts. He wanted to keep mine because he liked it so much D-:< haha! Last, I had to pass a cookie to someone of the same sex only using my mouth...Rachel’s always a good sport when it comes to things like that. Unsurprisingly, Yuki decided he willingly wanted to try the same thing with Shinya...Shinya was not so willing, but gave in in the end.

Before.
After.
My first lap-dance.
About to try the cocktail of doom made up
of everyone's drinks.
Yep...eww.
Shirt swap.
Ken being forced to dance...I think?

 Some of the challenges were pretty bad. For example, Akira had to tell us an embarrassing moment…unfortunately I can’t say what it was, but it was crazy! Maybe the worst one was when Shinya had to be blindfolded and touch someone in order to guess who they were. Of course we volunteered Ken-chan who proceeded to open his shirt, pull down his pants, and stick his you-know-what right out in front of Shinya who grabbed it. POOR SHINYA!!!

I have other pictures of this occurrence, but
they aren't exactly appropriate.
I got pictures with the lovely Balabushka staff (except for Tokuyo p_q) who were very patient with our rambunctiousness. Hiro cleaned up one of our broken glasses, Kohei nicely told us that Kenchan had to keep his clothes on and he kept our gifts behind the counter when we moved to the dance club, and Yoshitoshi encouraged us to draw on Joe’s face while he was taking a nap. I love that place!

Thanks for cleaning up our broken glass, Hiro!
Thanks for cleaning up after us in general, Kohei.
Thanks for suggesting we draw on Joe's face, Yoshitoshi.
Love you Joe.
Soro soro around 1 am we went to my favorite dance club, Jaws. I think that was about the point I stopped drinking perhaps. Akira had the DJ call mine and Rachel’s names to say happy birthday and invite us up on stage. I felt so cool! Since I was with so many of my friends, I danced with them instead of strangers. Yuki and I mostly danced together the whole night, and it was so fun!! :D One strange/bad moment was when I was leaving the restroom, and like always, there were guys waiting around the restroom for girls to come out like creeps. One guy saw me and my American flag sunglasses (he was kinda silly looking…he had on like a track suit and looked like yakuza), and he said, “Oh, you are from America,” grabbed my face and planted a big smooch on my lips…eww. Whatever though…could be worse.

Jaws.
I’m not sure how much Akira drank throughout the night, but at the club, he started to look super out of it. I asked if he was ok, but then he went to the back to use the restroom and take a break. I decided to just let him do his thing, but at the end of the night, he was missing! We never found him. He responded to my messages later the next day. He doesn’t remember where he went, but he got home around 11 am…OMG! He said he remembered being really cold. Sigh…that’s typical Akira for you!

Lastly, we had to make a stop at Balabushka after the club because our gifts were still there. Some people went home before, but I ended up riding the train back with Victoria. I was so proud of myself for not sleeping through my stop. I stopped at the Family Mart near my apartment as usually to get some water and snacks and say hi to Matsuoka, the cute boy that always works mid-nights on the weekends. Poor guy probably things I’m some kind of beast because he only ever sees me at my worst. In any case, I got home, showered, and slept. I had no hangover the next day! I definitely will never forget this birthday! 24 is going to be a good year, I can feel it!

Monday, December 2, 2013

A Day Trip to Nagoya

Last weekend, I went on a very short trip to Nagoya. I was my first time to ever go there. I had only ever seen it from the shinkansen and car window. The reason for going was to see a musical, also a first for me. Akira and co. knew a girl who was starring in the musical. She is actually a Nagoya JET. So on Sunday morning, we (Akira, Yuki, and I) met at Tsuruhashi station and took the Kintesu line to Nagoya. We all are hard for cash right now, so that’s why we didn’t drive or take the shinkansen (Let me just take this moment to point out how ridiculously expensive it is to drive on highways in Japan!! If you use a highway to travel to a different prefecture, we are talking like a 5000 yen toll each way or more...plus gas and parking!). Usually it would only take around an hour or an hour and a half to get there, but by regular trains, it took almost four hour each way. However, it was only around 2,000 yen each way! Nice!

Yuki and Akira stayed out all night the previous night, and I had taken the last train home. I was pretty tired, but Yuki and Akira (especially Akira) were exhausted! Akira slept most of the train ride. Yuki and I just talked. Yuki kept saying he had 変なテンション (“Hen na tenshon” = like when you get all weird and hyper from lack of sleep) on the way there, so that’s why he was so awake and talkative.

Akira is dead.
When we arrived at Nagoya station, we met up with our friend Umito who is living in Nagoya. He was the one who invited us. We headed to the musical. The musical was called “Dream Catcher.” It was a Native American tale. It was in English, but all the actors were from different backgrounds. Some were Japanese and others were American, British, Australian, etc. It was entertaining and gave me an overall good impression of live musicals. Here's a link to the webpage: http://kpbtheatre.com/en/shows/dreamcatcher/info

Afterwards, we headed to Sakae station (near Nagoya station) to get dinner. We went to this cool izakaya that had an old pub feel to it. The night before, my friend had told me about famous local dishes in Nagoya, so I decided to try one. I love eel, so I got something called hitsumabushi. It’s eel on top of rice that you eat in stages. First, you eat it as is. Then you eat it with some wasabi, onions, and Japanese pickles mixed in (I like this way the best). Lastly, you pour this tea broth stuff on it and eat it kind of like porridge. My friends told me to try it a fourth way to be funny by mixing in the wasabi, onions, pickles, AND the broth. We called it Osaka style haha! It was good! However, when they brought it out at first, there was no eel in it. We were so confused because it was too expensive to not have eel. We were trying to taste the rice to see if there was like ground up eel in it, but we didn’t think so. So we asked, and it turned out that they forgot to put the eel on it! The most important part! Haha! They fixed it for me, thankfully. 


Before the eel...wtf?
After the eel...that's more like it!
After dinner, we said our goodbyes to Umito and began the long journey home. We talked and slept on the way back. I think I got home around 10:30. I didn’t get to see that much of Nagoya, but from what I did see, it had a very open feel to it. The buildings were shorter that Osaka’s. The sky felt wider. The streets were wide, and the buildings were nicely lined up in a row. I guess overall, it’s just a pretty ordinary city with nothing too special about it. I should probably go back again sometime and explore more. I love my Osaka with its craziness, rough-friendly-interesting people, famous landmarks, and obsession with food. It’s nice to check out other places though. Stay tuned...next place on my list of places in visit in Japan is Hokkaido! Should be going next month. ;D

It's Nagoya!
Downtown.
Yuki sleeping standing up on the way home.
He said he was pretending, but I don't think so.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Thanksgiving

Last year my Thanksgiving was a sad story. I stayed home and attempted to make some Thanksgiving food. I remember sitting down to eat and feeling so alone.

This year, I was a little more proactive. Tin’s Hall is a bar that is well known among JET’s and other foreigners in Japan. Every year they serve a Thanksgiving meal that is basically as legit as it can be for Japan. I had heard about it last year, but I didn’t make it out. This year a few of my friends wanted to go, so we went together. We actually went on the Friday after Thanksgiving (they serve it both days) because we all had work on Thursday. The way I thought of it was that it was technically Thanksgiving in America on Friday in Japan!

We each ordered the Thanksgiving meal. There was turkey (I ate a little of the white meat, but gave the rest to my friends since I don’t each meat that much), mashed potatoes, stuffing, a roll, broccoli and cauliflower, and cranberry sauce. It tasted good, but it came at a price (1,700 yen). Pumpkin pie was 500 yen per piece. Luckily Ken wanted to share his with me haha!

Happy Thanksgiving! Cheers!
Pretty legit!
After (and during) eating, we drank merrily. I downed a lot of red wine. Ken, as always, got crazy, started dancing, and took his shirt off… ^^; When Yuki showed up a little later, we took tequila shots. I found out that the DJ and I went to the same university, so that was exciting! We just basically romped around the bar until last train. I was quite drunk when I left.  Usually I stay out all night and slowly wind down, but I hopped on the last train with my head swimming. Between the wine and the motion of the train, I began to feel sick and got off the train a few stops away from my station. Since it was the last train, I had no choice but to take a taxi the rest of the way home. That was a first for me and completely unexpected. I have been kind of under the weather lately, so perhaps that’s why the alcohol affected me more than usual. Anyway, 10 minutes and 2,300 yen later, I was home. I slept in the next day. Overall, good Thanksgiving! :P

Ken dancing with the DJ who went to my university.
Of course I have to add the video of him dancing!

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

White & Cigar

I know I’ve mentioned this place several times throughout my posts, but I think it’s about time I finally dedicate a post to this place. There is a bar/café about three minutes walking distance away from my apartment. It’s called White & Cigar. It is a café during the day and a bar at night. I’ve never actually been there during the day. It is run by a mother and son. The mother works the café (and sometimes the son helps out), and the son runs the bar. The bar is open from 7:00 pm to 3:00 am.

It's inside this complex. First floor, right side (This picture
is actually a repeat from my "About My Town
Shijonawate" post).
The name of the bartender is Miyake, but many people just call him “master (that’s what bartenders are often called in Japan).” I first went here when Kris took me on one of my first days in Japan. Kris was already a regular. From that moment, I knew the bar was a place that I wanted to return to frequently. Unfortunately, it took me some time to work up the courage to start going on my own because I wasn’t confident enough in my Japanese. So, until then, I went with Kris a few times and brought a couple friends once or twice, but I wanted to go more often. One day I worked up the courage to go on my own. I was able to speak enough to where I wasn’t embarrassed. Ever since then, I go anywhere from one to four times a month! It’s a place where I feel like I belong.

Let me explain why this bar is the best. First, it’s small and local. There are many regulars. For this reason, I have gotten to know several people and practice my Japanese with them. I call them “the bar family.” Next, it is super classy. Of course I love the crazy party bars where you get wild and take shots, but I also love sitting down in a with a sophisticated drink in a calm, dim, adult atmosphere. The food menu is just as nice as the drink menu. Miyake makes everything right in front of you. Some of my favorites are the cheese plate, garlic toast, and homemade chicken jerky. Apparently his pasta is great, but I usually just go there for drinks with the occasional snack. Another reason I like the bar is because there is a TV (always on mute with Japanese subtitles which is also good for practice) always playing the movie channel. I’ve gone there and watched whole movies. There’s usually something good or interesting playing. He always has some good music playing lightly. Kris has made mix tapes for the bar. He plays jazz music often. Recently, Miyake was playing his favorite musician, Jamiroquai, when I was there. Apparently he is pretty famous, but I had never heard of him. I really enjoyed his music. What I’m getting at is that sometimes I hear music I like at this bar and can learn about new artists. For those of you who have watched Cowboy Bebop, the bar kind of reminds me of a bar right out of the show. 

Enjoying a cheese plate and a glass of wine.
Mommy wow! I'm a big kid now!
Now I’ll tell you the main reason I like it. I swear Miyake is the god of making drinks. He is so incredibly skillful that he makes it into an art! It’s like he went to grad school for bartending or something. You would think that no matter where you go a rum and coke is a rum in coke, but I swear, the passion he puts into making drinks makes them taste incredible. Every person who has tried his drinks agrees. After getting to know me a bit and what kinds of drinks I like, I just ask him to make me something. I say in Japanese, “I leave it up to you,” and whatever he makes me is always delicious.

Here are some specific things I’ve noticed about the way he makes drinks. First, he always uses a pick to cut ice cubes into the perfect size depending on the drink, he shakes the shaker in a way I’ve never seen anyone do it before,  and he measures everything out exactly so when he pours it into the glass from the shaker, it comes right up to the rim of the glass. It always seems like it’s going to spill over, but it never does. Also, he only uses sodas from glass bottles, he has the nicest selection of alcohol, and overall, his knowledge of what mixes well together is extensive. He always comes up with original drinks for me. He is skilled in conversation and never let’s anyone feel left out. He is kind, knowledgeable, and quirky. For example, he has an obsession with robots. He greets everyone with a “good evening,” a hot towel, and a free snack. He is what makes the bar the best

Bloody Mary's are not the same in Japan as they
are in the U.S., so I asked if he had the ingredients
to make a "real" one. He made it special for me! :D
I often think about when I leave Japan and how much I’ll miss this place in particular. This is the first time I have ever had a place like this. It’s a place where I can go, relax, and feel comfortable in a country that often makes me feel foreign. Any night I go there, whether it’s for 2 hours or 5, it’s time and money well spent. I cherish every moment.

Quiet evening with friends.

Kouyou

I love fall SO MUCH!
Finally it’s come! Kouyou! Kouyou (紅葉) is Japanese for autumn colors or changing leaves. In Japan, or at least in Osaka, the leaves don’t start changing until late November which is a lot later than what I’m used to. I always get jealous when I hear of the leaves changing in October back at home, but when the leaves finally change here in Japan, it’s glorious! Since Japan is so into the four seasons, people make a big deal out of the leaves compared to in America. Many people travel from various places in Japan to places known for having good kouyou sights. Luckily, I live near Kyoto, so it’s not hard for me to find many good places.

This year, I actually stayed in Osaka rather than going to Kyoto. I went to a town called Mino. It’s in north Osaka, close to Kyoto and Hyogo, I believe. It was a JET event so many of us gathered last Sunday afternoon. My friend from my tea ceremony and her friend actually joined up with me, and I spent more time exploring with them than my JET friends. I had a really nice time!


The weather was nice and the trees were beautiful! I didn’t know until I got there that there was a waterfall! I was so excited! It was a little crowded, but other than that, I think it was a great place to check out the fall foliage. There were a lot of little food stands along the path that sold products particular to the Mino area such as fried Japanese Maple leaves, sweet potato sticks, and yuzu croquettes. I finally feel like fall is in full swing!

秋.
Fall in Japan. <3
Reflection on the water.
I really like this picture.
Waterfall - 滝(たき)
It was beautiful!

Monday, November 18, 2013

Being Foreign in Japan

This post is kind of breaks away from my usual posts about events and things I’ve done recently. It’s a topic that has been on my mind a lot the past few days. Maybe it’s because I’ve had a few experiences lately that made me think about it, or maybe it’s because we are discussing discrimination and racism in our 3rd year English classes. In any case, I just want to write a little bit about what I think it feels like to be a foreigner in Japan. This is completely from my perspective. I’m sure everyone has their own experiences due to their race, gender, religion, and where they live and go in Japan.

I tend to get a lot of attention being a white, light-haired, blue-eyed American. Good and bad. At first, the good attention was welcomed, but after living here for over a year, even the good attention sometimes gets old. So how about I start with the bad and end with the good because that’s better, right?

I would have to say that the main and most frustrating discrimination I experience is sexual harassment from men. I am well aware that in some ways, I make myself more susceptible to it because I choose to spend my free time going to bars and clubs, but honestly, those aren’t the only places I experience it, and it’s not ok either way. Let me work my way up from the least surprising places to the most surprising places.

First, almost every time I go to a club, I get approached by several men. Sometimes they buy me drinks or want to talk, and that’s ok. Some want to dance with me possibly with hopes of get further. Honestly, that’s ok too. That’s a main reason many people go to a club, and it’s the same in America. I like dancing with people, and I know I’m not going home with them, so it’s ok with me if they want to dance together and flirt with me. Plus, if they are not pigs, then perhaps I’d be interested in meeting them again, becoming friends or even possibly more than that eventually. Dancing is a good way to meet people, and I really love dancing! The thing that is NOT ok at dance clubs is when guys assume that just because I agreed to dance with them, that means they are free to grab my butt, breasts, and try to make out with me. What’s even more NOT OK, is when I’m not even dancing with them or interacting with them in any way, and they grab me out of nowhere…which has been happening to me A LOT lately. Now you may be wondering why I think this has to do with discrimination. Here is my reason besides the fact that it has NEVER happened to me in America. I have been told by my Japanese friends that there is a stereotype of foreign women being “easy.” Perhaps it’s due to our more outward personalities. They think that because we are foreign, we will let them do anything. Whereas, they know that Japanese girls won’t let them pull that sh*t. Sure, Japanese men still try to touch Japanese women in clubs, but I think they are more hesitant, and I’ve never seen anyone try to touch a Japanese girl’s breast. At first, I was kind of docile in these situations. I would just laugh it off and tell them to stop. However, the more it keeps happening, the more fed up I get, and the more I firmly make it shown that it is not ok and that just because I’m foreign doesn’t mean you can put your hands all over me. For example, the other day I was standing off to the side of the dance floor when a group of like 6 guys (who were really drunk and celebrating one of their birthdays, I think) pulled me to the center to dance with them. They looked like a bunch of stupid wild monkeys out of control, so I didn’t want to dance with them, but I played their game for a few seconds before returning back to the side. Then, they pulled me to the center again and one guy tapped my boob. I immediately kicked him in his white pants and walk away. I gave him the death stare. They left me alone after that. This is just one example of many touching experience s at dance clubs.

Next, at bars and izakaya, I have been approached and grabbed and whatnot. I mentioned in my “Yuki’s Birthday” post about the guys who waited for me outside the restroom in an izakaya to touch my butt, put their arms around me, and try to kiss me. Also, in my “Halloween Party Round 2” post, I told you about the guy who was hitting on me at Balabushka and pointed at his crotch and said, “Welcome to the jungle!.” That was actually kind of funny though. He was tightly holding my hand to where I couldn’t pull it away when we were talking, and that wasn’t funny though. Also, at the HUB, I’ve had a man whisper in my ear as he walked by that I looked erotic…eww. Almost every time I go to a bar, some guy will talk to me, friend me on facebook, and then ask me if I want to hang out alone with them sometime. I don’t mind these things as much as being physically touched, but it gets old because I think that they all try to go after me because they think they’ll get somewhere with me because I’m foreign.

A more surprising place is literally on the street. It’s usually at night though. Last weekend, I was walking alone at night which is generally ok in Japan. I live in a big city, so there are people all around at all times. I was crossing over a crosswalk and a group of young guys were walking towards me. They seemed a little drunk and rowdy, so I tried not to make eye contact. I think I looked at one of the guys’ faces for like a split second. That’s when he decided bear hug me in the middle of Midosuji and make loud noises while doing so. I couldn’t even move he was hugging me so hard. When he stopped, one of his friends apologized, and they kept walking. I was just kind of shocked and kept walking. Also, this isn’t sexual, but I’ve had a guy stop and literally get like one inch away from my face, yell really loud, and then keep walking. What?

Last, I’ve been harassed on trains. Maybe it’s not that surprising since you kind of hear about perverts on trains in Japan all the time, but for me, I still find it shocking because it’s bright on the train, people are not drunk or in a party scene, and it’s in front of children, elderly, and everyday common people. I’ve had my butt touched a few times on the train, I’ve had countless men “sleep” on my shoulder (never any women), and I have been told to kiss and hug my friend Shawn on the train by an older man who probably actually was drunk. He kept saying I was cute and asking me where I lived, so Shawn pretended to be my boyfriend. The guy didn’t believe us, so he was like, “Oh, if that’s the case, why don’t you hug and kiss in front of me now.” We of course didn’t… Ugh. As for the sleeping on shoulders thing, that’s pretty common and acceptable in Japan, but it just doesn’t seem like a coincidence that several middle-aged men and no women have fallen asleep on my shoulder. There was one time I sat down next to a man and he immediately after like two seconds put his head on me. Usually it’s a longer process.

On to a new type of bad discrimination…Once when I was leaving my apartment in the morning for work, there was an older woman walking her dog. I said good morning to her in Japanese with a smile on my face. She looked me in the eyes, frowned, didn’t say a word, and kept walking. Nice. Luckily that was a one time thing.

Next, there is the constant starring and glances every time I step outside. I’ve almost gotten used to that.

One thing that is starting to get old is when a group of younger kids, like high school age, see me just walking around or riding my bike, and they say really loudly in Japanese, “Look! Wow! A foreigner!” They tend to use the less polite/slang version of the word foreigner, too. The reason this agitates me is because first, they probably assume that I don’t know Japanese and can’t understand them….even though I think anyone would understand regardless of whether or not they knew Japanese. Next, yes, I know they are excited or shocked to see me because Japan is such a homogeneous country, but I’ve been living here going on two years. I feel like I am adjusted to life here. It’s not new anymore. So when kids make a big deal out of me, it makes me feel like no matter how well adjusted I become to this country, I’m always going to be a strange outsider. I wish Japanese people would think more about this before they make comments. “Perhaps this foreigner lives here. Perhaps this foreigner can speak Japanese. Perhaps they were even born here!” They should keep these things in mind before blurting stuff out aloud.

This brings me to the second half, the “good” discrimination. I say “good” because the people are just trying to be nice even if it does make you feel alienated. This relates to the last paragraph. People often compliment me and say, “Wow! Your Japanese is very good!” Even if the only thing I say is “good morning” or “thank you.”  They also say things like “Wow! You can use chopsticks?” “Wow! You know about Japanese culture?” “Wow! You can eat raw fish?!” I know these people are just trying to be nice. At first I even welcomed the compliments, but as I was saying before, I’m adjusted to living here. When I get these compliments, it’s just a reminder that I don’t belong. One of the things that bothered me the most was when I was with my old American tea ceremony teacher. She has lived in Japan for 20 years straight, and now she spends half her time here and the other half in America. She is completely fluent in Japanese. She sounds like a native. Even the way she looks and acts is very in tune with Japanese etiquette. We were in a store, and she was buying some spices or something. She asked the store owner some questions about the flavor of the spice in detail and how to use it and whatnot to which the owner replied, “Wow! Your Japanese is very good!” I felt so annoyed because my teacher is an older woman, completely fluent in Japanese, and is basically like a Japanese person in a foreigner’s body. She’s lived here many many years. To think that even at her age, people are still so surprised and treat her like an alien made me realize that it’s a never ending battle. No one bothers to think about the person’s experience.

The last “good” discrimination has to do with comments about my appearance. I have taught the same students for almost two years now, and there is not a day that goes by where at least one student doesn’t look at me and scream, “KAWAIIIIIIIIIIII!!!” It means “cute.” I loved it at first. I still don’t mind so much, but you’d think they’d get over it and become used to me after a couple months. NOPE. They ask me all sorts of questions like, “Is that your really hair color? Is that you really eye color?” Why are your eye lashes so long?” etc. etc. Not only do I get this from students, but people outside of work too. I often get, “Wow! You are so pale and beautiful!” I’ve had complete strangers come up to me just to get a close look at my eye color. Sure, it’s nice to an extent. I feel quite confident here, but also, it does get old thanking people over and over again and not really knowing what to say in response. Also, again, it’s a reminder that you are different. On the contrary, sometimes you get negative comments that Japanese people think it’s ok to say because you are foreign. For example, “Oh, you can’t sit seiza (seiza is a Japanese style of sitting where you fold your legs underneath your body which cuts off circulation and becomes painful) because you a bigger and heavier than Japanese people,” or “Oh, your fingernails are long. Did you forget to clip them?” I have to explain that long fingernails are considered pretty in America. I also have been told by my women friends, “Wow, your breasts and butt are much bigger than Japanese ones.” It’s just really awkward! You wouldn’t say that to a Japanese woman, so why are you saying that to me? I’ve also been told that I don’t have wide shoulders which is strange for a foreigner. My favorite is when my students will say to me, “Americans are very tall!” when I’m standing next to them, and I’m shorter than most of my students who are like 13 years old.

So, this is what has been on my mind lately. I’m not depressed or anything, but I thought it was worth sharing. Perhaps some of my friends living here feel the same way? I’d be interest to know everyone’s experiences with discrimination in Japan. Also, let me remind you, for every person that says or does something to make you feel different, there are people who treat you normally. I just hope that one day people can see each other as simply human and nothing more. I’d like to think that I am helping Japanese people become more accustomed to foreigners and breaking down stereotypes one person at a time.

Sunday, November 10, 2013

Yuki's Birthday

A couple weekends ago was probably the craziest, out-of-control party experience I’ve had so far since I moved to Japan. It was Yuki’s birthday. What more legit reason can there be to celebrate and have fun than a birthday, not to mention the birthday of a person who is close friends with all of us. What can I say besides, “We love kaichou (kaichou is Japanese for president/boss and is Yuki’s nickname due to his personality)!

Disclaimer: I want to write about all the crazy and embarrassing incidents that happened on this night more so for my own memories than anything because it really was just an all out fun night I don’t want to forget. Please remember that this was all in good fun. The evening was completely light-hearted, and everyone was fine the next day…except for hangovers. :P I know that some of my family who reads this may be concerned about my drinking and partying, but I assure you that everything is going fantastically for me these days. All through school I studied very hard, and I hardly ever drank or partied. I feel like I am just beginning to understand this culture that is out there. I’m beginning to understand the hype that I didn’t really understand when I was in college. Now I am just making up for lost time. The only responsibility I really have is work. I love my job, I always try to set a good example for the students, and what I do on the weekends has never interfered with my job. It’s nice not having homework or extreme amounts of pressure from school. I think that now is the time for me to live this kind of life before I have more responsibilities like a husband or children. In all honesty, the shenanigans we pull are not really that bad anyway, just silly. So here we go..!

On Saturday November 2nd, the day after Yuki’s actual birthday, we held a big party for him. You could feel the excitement in the air. Everyone was in high spirits and ready to enjoy the night. We gathered around 7:00pm, and went to the izakaya we always go to called Kyushu. Yuki was the last to arrive, and we all cheered when he entered. I would say that there were around 16 of us. More people came later in the night. With that, we did our initial “kanpai (cheers)!” I was sitting at a table with Andrew and Joe. We can put away drinks like it’s nobody’s business (particularly Joe and I)…must be the American in us haha! Before most people had even a few sips of their first drinks, we were on our second round. We were crabby because we ordered a bunch of food, but none of it was coming out or they were bringing it to other tables. The three of us lunged at our tomato slices when they came to the table. We looked at Shawn’s table next to us with envy. We decided to put out dirty dishes and cups on their table as punishment…if that makes any sense. As Andrew put it, “We like our table pure.”

At the beginning.
Food came out slow, but drinks came out fast. Drinking games broke out at tables. Losers of the games were forced to down multiple cups of hot sake. I never lost a game, but I willingly drank the sake anyway. One memory I have from the night is Akira pouring me a cup of sake, me drinking it, and then him saying, “Oh wait, I didn’t pour anything. Let me try again.” I’m not sure how many cups he poured for me repeatedly saying that line haha! It wasn’t long before people were up and walking around everywhere chatting with each other and switching tables. Conversations were silly. For example, a wonderful conversation between Andrew and I consisted of this:

Me: "I have some boob sweat."
Andrew: "That reminds me of a DJ. DJ Booty Sweat."

We all handed Yuki his gifts and watched him open them. We bought him a cake too. It looked like a teddy bear! We sang happy birthday to him as we handed him the cake.

Probably the cutest cake. ever.
My birthday present to Yuki.
Drinking games.
After the gift opening, things began to get a bit rowdy. We were told to quiet down a couple times by the staff…and I don’t blame them! Akira bumped into me causing me to spill wine on my tights and floor…to which I began laughing at hysterically because there was a piece of lettuce or something near the wine spill, which I thought was the funniest thing ever (no, that isn’t supposed to make any sense). At that time, with tears in my eyes, I said, “I’m going to cry tears of joy forever,” and in that moment, I believed it to be true. Another incident involved me, Yuki, and I think Shinya walking to the restroom together. Shinya and I were helping Yuki walk, plus I had to pee. As we approached the restroom in the back, there were two or three guys standing there. They saw the three of us stumbling to the restroom together, and I guess they assumed that because I was arm in arm with two Japanese guys, that I would want to interact with them as well. They started asking me for kisses and trying to kiss my cheek. Looking back on this the next day, I thought these guys were creeps (even though they were drunk too), but at the time, I was also drunk so I just laughed at them and said, “No, no, no, no.” Yuki told me he has no memory of this, but I was really thankful because in his drunken stupor, his true character came through, and he pushed those guys’ faces away from me. Unfortunately, I didn’t really think it through before I left the restroom, but when I exited, Yuki and Shinya weren’t done, and those guys were there waiting for me. They followed me to the table (which wasn’t too far away) while putting their arms around me and grabbing my butt. I told Rachel that the guys were bothering me, she saw them touching my bum, and she said, “What are you doing?!” to them and shoved their arms away from me. They left after that. I don’t know why, but usually I’m too polite in these situations and need someone to help me out I guess.

The wine spill and a piece of lettuce or
something...HAHA!
Anyway, before I move on to the second part of the party, some points of interest were as follows: Yuki kissed almost every guy at the table. The most memorable one was the one between Akira and him. The reasons being that Akira was in the middle of eating chocolate cake when Yuki kissed him, I told them to keep kissing long enough for me to take out my phone and take a picture (which took a long time), and when they pulled away, Yuki had chocolate on his face from Akira’s mouth…sick! Haha! Akira got his pants pulled down by someone, he fell on the floor face first, and near the end as people were starting to head out, he puked in the empty cake bag but continued to drink more!  I’ll hand it to Akira, he is a trooper. If I ever throw up from drinking, I am 100% done for the night. No more alcohol! However, Akira just keeps going and going! After we got our bill, the Caesar salad we ordered in the very beginning came out. We demolished it! Later Joe said something like, “That was the least amount of food I’ve ever eaten at an izakaya,” due to the fact that hardly any of the food we ordered came to our table.

Yuki attempting to kiss everyone, willing or not haha!
Poor Aki-chan...who did this to him?!

Get your sh*t together Akira!!! XD
Part 2: We started walking over to the HUB so we could hang out there. I was helping Yuki walk along with someone else (Yusuke?). I’ll admit, although I remember the events throughout the whole night, some details were a bit fuzzy. As we were walking, Yuki kept saying, “遠いわ! 遠いわ! ハブどこ?(Like, it’s so far! Where is it??)” I kept saying, “It’s not that far! It’s really close! You can see the sign down the street, see?” However, as time went on, it started to feel far even for me haha! Perhaps it took a long time because we decided to stop and have drunken slap fights along the way. Shawn and Akira started it. Basically, Akira said really loudly, “I want someone to slap me!!” Shawn said he was happy to oblige. So we all stopped and gathered around them, not caring about people passing by. Shawn slapped him the hardest I’ve ever seen anyone slap anyone before haha! What the heck?? Yuki saw and thought it looked fun, so then he asked someone to slap him next. So Akira slapped Yuki in the face. Then we went to the HUB.

Slap fights?
Yuki's turn!
People filtered in, but me, Kentaro, Yuki, and someone else (perhaps Hashi or Yusuke?) took a long time to go inside because Kentaro was saying that he had to go home because his last train was soon, and he had to work at like 5:00 am! So he and Yuki were saying a long goodbye. One of them noticed the time. It was only 10:30. Kentaro was shocked (he was pretty drunk and must have not realized how early it was), and said, “Oh! I can stay longer! Let’s go inside!” Haha! So that long goodbye was in vain.

When we got inside, the first thing I see is Akira standing at the bar ordering a huge pint of beer. He takes the full glass of beer and then accidentally drops the whole thing on the floor. The glass didn’t break luckily, but there was beer all over (and on my tights again). It was so pitiful lol! Then Yuki took a tiny little wet wipe and was trying to clean up the massive spill. I don’t know how that all panned out because I got distracted because I ran into two of my girlfriends unexpectedly and was chatting with them.

The spilled beer.
At the HUB, some crazy things happened. I took a few shots with people. Al, and his girlfriend who I met for the first time there, showed up, so I took a shot with them. Yuki was super excited when they arrived. I bought a shot for Yuki, but when I was about to hand it to him, I realized how drunk he was and decided to give him a glass of water instead. So I took his shot for him. I remember just chatting with friends and whatnot, but here are the three most surprising events: First, when I was chatting with Akira, he bought me a rum and coke, turned to me, said “You are f*cking awesome and heavy metal,” and then smooched me on my mouth!! WHAA??? Haha! He does not remember doing it. It was all in good fun, though. Next, I took this one a little more seriously...I don’t even know how this started or happened, but I remember standing in front of the bar where everyone could see (I don’t think anyone was really watching except maybe Rachel and/or Shinya), and Yuki and I started kissing! Like a real kiss… O.o I heard one of our friends make like an “Ohhh!!” noise when it was happening, I think at our expense. After the kiss, Yuki fell on the ground lol, and I just put my hands on my head and asked the world what had just happened?! I think I said something like, “He’s not even going to remember this tomorrow, but I will!” And it was true… Rachel later told him about it before I said anything to him, and he apologized and said that he kissed almost every person at his party too so not to take it seriously. It’s not that I was mad at him about it, but it was more serious of a kiss than Akira’s. >_< In any case, it’s water under the bridge.

At the HUB.
The last incident of interest at the bar was the thing that led to us getting kicked out. I want to point out that I was actually the only person who knew that we got kicked out. After the incident with Yuki, I walked over to a table Akira was at. He was talking with some people we didn’t know, and for whatever bizarre and stupid reason, he decided to take an empty glass and smash it on the table repeatedly until his hand was all bloody. All the while I’m grabbing his arm and tell him to stop. After he stopped, I asked him why he did it, and he said, “…because it was (heavy) metal.” Sigh….lol…What an idiot?! So I apologized to the people around us and escorted Akira to the restroom. Yuki saw the blood and decided he would go help him in the restroom since I couldn’t go in. Pfft, yeah, because Yuki was going to be a whole lot of help. :P I waited for them to come out. When they came out, there was blood on Yuki’s shirt, probably from them hugging in the bathroom or something. Akira’s hand was cleaned up, but still bleeding a bit. That’s when a staff member came over with some bandaids and told us that we had to leave because they couldn’t have a person getting blood all over their bar. So, we gathered up the remaining crew and left.

I’m not sure if Yuki had been sick at all in the bathroom up to this point, but once we got outside, he stumbled over to the bushes on the curb and began throwing up. We all knew that it would happen at some point in the night, it was just a matter of when. Yuki has a weak stomach and always gets sick when he drinks a lot. So, I took his glasses for safe keeping and a few of us helped Yuki stand and rubbed his back as he threw up. At this point, the story seems kind of grim, right? However, the atmosphere was quite the opposite! Even Yuki was laughing and smiling between bouts of sickness. We kept saying stuff like, “Don’t worry Yuki! You still look sexy!” The funny part about this was that it was only like 11:30 or 12:00-ish. While Yuki was being sick for a while, some people caught their last trains and went home. Raz showed up during this which was unfortunate because Yuki was already at the point of no return. Some guy who I apparently talked to at the bar from England came outside and talked to us more during this. He was blatantly hitting on Rachel. It was awkward.

Yuki blowing his nose after being sick.
Eventually Yuki said he would rather just take a taxi home. Akira decided to accompany him which was good. I put Yuki’s glasses back on his face. Then we gave him a plastic bag, a water bottle, his gifts, and our well wishes and sent him on his way. From then, people kind of split up, but a few of us decided to go dancing at my favorite place, JAWS, since we still had a lot of time. It was me, Yumi (I have no idea when she showed up in the night!), Joe, Lisa, Kohei, and Hashi. Yumi had forgotten her ID, but they still let her in which was awesome! The second I walk in the club, I see a guy with the craziest light up glasses. I asked if I could take a picture of me wearing them (or maybe I just took them from him…I don’t remember). I gave them back to him after I took the picture. He was nice and cool! Actually, when I ended up leaving the club, he said bye to me on my way out.

These glasses are so awesome!!
So, the place was packed! We got our first round of drinks with our drink tickets and proceeded to dance. I noticed Kohei wasn’t around so I searched for him. He was standing by the bar. Maybe this is when I took the picture with the glasses. Either way, whatever. I chatted with Kohei a bit and coaxed him onto the dance floor. He danced with us a bit before disappearing without a word lol. I believe he went home since he came by bicycle. I rejoined the group and started dancing with them and everyone around me. I was dancing with this one guy for a bit until he touched my boobs. I told him to go away after that and avoided him the rest of the night. It never ceases to amaze me how often I get touched by people in Japan. Not just in clubs either! In trains, izakaya, and pubs, too! Japan is always publicized as such a safe place with no crime, but I definitely been grabbed by more men here than in the U.S.! There are other reasons though why Japan is overall a safer place than the U.S. Remember how I said before that I am often too polite when it comes to guys touching me? Well, at the club, I was a lot stricter. At another point in the night, a random guy grabbed my butt. I immediately shoved him and yelled at him (I hope it was the right guy lol! >_< It was really crowded.). Finally, I found a nice boy to dance with, Sho. I say boy because when I asked him his age, I found out that he was only 20 years old! I’m about to be 24! Made me feel kind of old… Anyway, he was a cutie pie and nice to dance with. He was there with his friends. One of his friends was wearing a Chicago hat, so I got really excited!! They were excited about it too, haha! Unfortunately, Sho had to leave. From then I just danced with Hashi. It was a good time. J

Throughout the night, I didn’t have to buy my own drinks except once. Random guys kept paying for my drinks when I went up to the bar…it was AWESOME! Lol! The weird thing is that these random guys didn’t want anything from me. They were just being nice. Some were interested in knowing where I was from or just having a short conversation, but that’s it. It was great! The only time I bought a drink was when the shot girl came around with her tray. I handed her 1,000 yen. The shots were 500 yen each. Instead of giving me 500 yen back, she gave me a shot and then took one herself! Apparently I paid for that…unwillingly… Oh well, it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Around 5 am, we left to ride our trains home. Upon leaving the club, we met the comparatively quiet outside. Our ears were ringing, and our heads were pounding. I’m not sure if our heads hurt because the music was so loud or because we drank a lot (or both). Joe and I live in the same building, so we always go home together. I was super tired this time. We sat on the platform and waited for the train. We were both so crabby and complaining a lot to each other. I told him that I wasn’t sure if I could stay awake this time on the way home. Usually I’m the one who always makes sure we get off at our stop since he always falls asleep. We made it to our first stop, but when we transferred to the train that takes us to our station, we slept through it…even though he set an alarm on his phone to wake us up! Luckily, we only passed our stop by four stops. This was the second time for me to miss my stop on the way home after an all nighter. The first time I was by myself, and I rode the train all the way to Kyoto! D:

We made it home, grabbed some snacks at Family Mart like we always do after staying out all night. It’s funny because it’s always the same young guy, Matsuoka, working there in the morning when we go. I said, “Thank you, always,” to him in Japanese this time haha! We got back to our building, and I took a shower and went to bed. I was not sick in any way, but my head was pounding. I seriously could only sleep for 3 hours (from like 8:00 am to 11:00 am). My head was hurting too much to sleep. I just chilled out, texted people, and played on Facebook until I could fall asleep again at 6:30 pm. I slept for like 13 hours straight after that. It was wonderful! I had no work on Monday, so it was great! Looking back on all the drinks I could recall drinking, I definitely broke my record for the most I’ve ever drank in a night…I can’t believe I didn’t get sick!

Over the next few days, we all shared our memories of the night with each other and informed Yuki of everything because he hardly remembered anything. It seriously was a blast! Although we had hangovers the next day, everyone looked back on the night fondly and had a good time. My birthday is coming up soon, and I only hope that my birthday can be half as cool as his was!